The Empty Nesters

Transitions Happen at Every Age!

2012-01-31T17:13:00.000-08:00

This empty nest journey is certainly a long strange trip.

When our oldest left for college, there was the first inkling that
things would never quite be the same. After the second (or 3^rd or 4^th if you have more children) left for college, often you could hear a pin drop in the house. The crazy
uncertainty of a full house with young adults coming and going became
incredibly subdued, even boring. Life went on but in a much different way,
with a reboot at every holiday and summer vacation. After 10
years of our children, now young adults, coming and going, making old friends, new
friends, love connections, choosing career paths and searching for
their place in the world, as parents we cannot help but try to give them
guidance, albeit with a little more distance.

The passing of Jill's stepmother in November offered a lesson that no
matter how old you are, change is just as much a certainty for a baby
boomer, as it is for a young adult, or even an active 90 year old.

Imagine being 90, actually 91, and having to change your whole life? We often complain about the minutiae in our lives and whine about construction delays (of which they are everywhere in LA) or having to juggle many things at once. But we baby boomers are blessed with resilience, strength, and relative youth to work around the mundane.

What do you say to your (thank God healthy) 91 year old dad who has lost his partner of 50 years and has to rethink all he has known, a lifelong New Yorker considering a 3,000 mile move to be closer to his west coast family? With few options available, the message is change your life dad!!! We are known as the sandwich generation for a reason and at the same time we try and guide our children to make smart intelligent decisions, we sometimes find ourselves in the same role with our parents. Who woulda thunk?

The sadness of loss does have a silver lining… the possibility that distant grandchildren (and great grandchildren) may have some very precious time to get to know their grandfather.

The joy of watching a nonagenarian make new friends and try new activities brings almost as much satisfaction as when our kids were on their first playdates, developing their own friendships. Transitions are difficult at any age and we applaud those with the courage to move forward.

This empty nest time of life is a long strange journey and the more things change, the more they are the same.

Join the empty nesters at 11AM Wednesdays on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. On February 1, we will be joined by Anna Lefler, award winning writer and humorist and author of "The Chicktionary: From A-Line to Z-Snap, The Words Every Woman Should Know."
If you cannot listen LIVE, you can always find us anytime by clicking on the above link or podcast on itunes!

Tale as Old as Time, Song as Old as Rhyme, Beauty and the Beast

2012-01-17T23:10:00.000-08:00

Twenty years ago I sat in a dark movie theater with my four year old daughter watching Disney Pictures' Beauty and the Beast. The animation, the musical score and the timeless love story were mesmerizing to the both of us. We were not alone. Beauty and the Beast was the first animated movie to be nominated for a Best Picture Academy Award. It held the honor until 2009 when the Best Picture field of nominations rose from 5 to 10 and Pixar's Up received a nod. When the VHS tape was released almost a year later (so many things wrong/outdated with that sentence) it was quickly added to our home collection. My little girl, like so many of her friends, wanted to be the book-loving, kind soul Belle for Halloween. I sewed her a beautiful yellow confection of a gown. Of course, she wanted the $19.99 store bought dress. Fast forward to 2012. Disney recently released the timeless classic, newly remastered in 3-D. This time I went to the theater without my girl in tow. (She was at her grown up teaching job). Again I was captivated by the film. I walked away wondering where the last two decades have gone. The girls in the photo are college graduates and career women now. They spent their childhoods watching movies with strong and beautiful and often motherless (that's a topic for another essay) heroines. They've had educations and adventures and have dated prince charmings. Yet, I have a feeling that when I invite them to see the movie with me this weekend, they will once again be the girls wearing the yellow gowns.

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now

2012-01-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

This weekend marks a significant anniversary in my life. My life was saved exactly half a lifetime ago. I was 27 years old 27 years ago when I was diagnosed with colon cancer. I had no family history. I was young , healthy and fit- not exactly a high risk candidate. Yet there I was, spending the 1984 holiday season being probed and tested for a variety of symptoms that had grown too worrisome to ignore. Sudden weight loss ( at 27 I wasn't going to question that one !), fatigue and crippling abdominal pain were more than just stress due to a hectic season and home remodel. As the saying goes," Father (and Mother) knows best." My parents took one look at me and knew I needed to seek medical advice. Through a series of tests, the cancer was diagnosed. Stage 2. Still treatable. Phew. The tumor was surgically removed in January of 1985. I needed blood transfusions at a time when AIDS was known, but blood banks did not yet screen donations. It turned out that my immediate family and I do not have the same blood type so my friends rallied. Even friends of friends including the big, strong football playing father of my college roommates who paled at the sight of blood. I am so thankful. Surgery, an extended hospital stay and consultations for follow up treatment ( what do you do with a young woman with a disease that occurs primarily in an older population?) not to mention recuperation consumed the next few months. The medical team that cared for me was wonderful. I am thankful they never questioned or dismissed my symptoms. I cannot begin to fathom the pain and fear that my parents must have felt. They spent each day and evening at my bedside sandwiching the hospital visits into their own work schedules. They were unwavering in their care and love as they still are today. My husband, who did not marry until his late 30's, certainly wasn't expecting his younger wife to face a life threatening disease. He stepped out of his worried husband role to become my advocate extraordinaire. This was in the pre - internet era when research and communication were done painstakingly over the telephone. I am beyond thankful for him.
Years have passed, literally half of my life, yet few days go by when I do not think of my journey. My surgical scar, running from stem to stern, is a reminder and a badge of courage. I don't wear my past on my sleeve. I'm sure many of my current friends may not even be aware of my history. I do speak of the importance of screening, especially since we have passed the mid century age. It concerns me that my own children are in a higher risk category because of me, but I am thankful that medical advances are such that this disease is treatable. At my age I have lived long enough to have lost friends to disease. I am thankful that each January 14th passes and I am here to live another blessed year.

Hello Goodbye

2012-01-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

We Empty Nesters shared our time honored tradition of spending New Year's Eve together, saying goodbye to 2011 with all her joys and sorrows, and welcoming 2012 fresh with promise. We've spent the last day of the year together every year since the mid 90's. Back in the last century when the kids were younger, the celebrations were family affairs- bowling, movies, comedy clubs, ski vacations- lots of memories were created and shared. As the kids got older they made their own plans, but we Nesters continued to spend the special evening together.

2011 was filled with the joys of our offsprings' accomplishments- a couple of college degrees ( B.A. , M.A. ), admission to graduate and professional programs, continued success in a demanding undergraduate field- things that make the Nesters very proud parents. The year also brought personal loss. As members of the Baby Boom generation, we are sandwiched between aging parents and emerging adults. As part of the great circle of life we find ourselves attending funerals way too often. 2011 was no exception.
As we welcome the new year we pause to reflect the past and resolve for the future. We dream, we set goals and hopefully on December 31, 2012 we will raise a glass to celebrate all the good in our lives.

The Reason for the Season

2011-12-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

Well, the answer is pretty simple. The reason for the season is to eat. More specifically, to celebrate and feast with family and friends. The Empty Nesters actually begin the "season" in the fall with our birthdays. We progress into Halloween, then Thanksgiving and ultimately the multitude of December holidays. As much as we like to try new recipes, there are some things one just doesn't mess with. Elaine's Cranberry Jello Mold is one such thing.It's practically sacrosanct in our house. It replaces cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving and stands in as a salad or dessert at other holiday meals. I hate to let the blog readers (and especially my guests) know how easy it really is to make. But in the name of the holiday spirit- here I go.

Elaine's Cranberry Jello

1 6oz. box of sugar free raspberry jello (regular is ok too)

1 14 oz. can jellied cranberry sauce

1 20 oz. can crushed pineapple, drained

2 cups boiling water

Mix the jello with 2 cups boiling water until it is dissolved.

Add the cranberry sauce, mixing well.

Stir in the pineapple.

Pour into a ring mold. Chill until set.

Invert onto a serving plate and prepare for compliments.

Friday Night Lights: Are You Ready for Some Football?

2011-09-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

A High School without a football team. Seriously? My kids attended such a school. Sure, waterpolo, soccer, basketball, track and baseball were represented by both boys and girls teams. But the sad reality is nothing says school spirit quite like football. Los Angeles isn't Texas, but the gridiron casts a long shadow. My own high school memories are colored with images of pep rallies, football games and post game celebrations at Shakey's Pizza. My school's stadium was renamed in honor of our NFL Hall of Fame alumnus John Elway. I performed pom pom routines with the L.A. City Champion Drill Team. And 30 years later my kids' high school experiences were void of the Friday Night Lights ritual. Until now. Even though my own family no longer has kids at the school, as an alumni famliy we were thrilled to attend the first ever football game. Under the lights no less. Thanks to the dedication and perseverance of two moms, and the blessing and support of the adminstration, the school has a newly developed football program. So on a crisp evening as the days of summer waned, were were excited to sit on the bleachers (another local high school kindly allowed use of their stadium) cheering for the team. The school spirit was contagious. Face paint, team colors, vintage school logos for some of us alumni, music on the loudspeakers, school mascot- all were present. Baseball may be America's Pastime, soccer is a world sport, but football is king. Let's go Wildcats ! Let's Go!

And We Got to Get Ourselves Back to the Garden

2011-09-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

It's the end of summer and anyone with a backyard garden has an abundance of zucchini. Sometimes I feel like Bubba in Forrest Gump citing all of the ways one can use zucchini. Of course, the hands down favorite is Zucchini Bread. I'll share my family's easy and delicious recipe.

Zucchini Bread

3 Cups Flour
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1 tsp. Salt
2 tsp. Cinnamon
½ tsp. Nutmeg
3 Eggs
2 ¾ Cups Sugar
1 Cup Oil
1 ½ tsp. Vanilla
2 Cups lightly packed grated Zucchini
½ Cups Raisins
¾ Cup Nuts (optional)

Sift dry ingredients together.
Beat eggs with sugar, oil and vanilla
Gradually stir in dry ingredients
Stir in zucchini, adding raisins and nuts

Divide between greased loaf pans

Bake in 350 oven 45-50 minutes

Enjoy!

Hot August Nights

2011-08-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

They say nothing happens in August. Not entirely true. On a personal note one "nester" child was born smack dab in the middle of the month on a hot August night. For the rest of the world August has a dismal history. Currently we are witnessing a slumping (to put in mildly) stock market, increased violence in the Middle East, and even Mother Nature getting into the act wrecking her havoc with storms, earthquakes and triple digit heat. Historically August saw the beginning of World War I, the dropping of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Our only President ever to resign from office did so in August. Even popular culture suffers. Both Elvis and Marilyn ( Monroe) died in August. The movie releases are lacking, books are seldom published and television is mostly in reruns. The Sports pages are awfully thin. The NFL is in the "who cares ?" preseason, the MLB pennant races haven't heated up, and the NBA is in lockdown/out. August doesn't even have the decency to have a holiday. Apparently even it's claim to fame is suspicious as July is the top vacation month. Aaahh, but lest I forget during my rantings about the eighth month of the year, another personal milestone will be celebrated in August- the anniversary of my wedding day 28 years ago on another sultry night in Los Angeles.

Happy August to you. Are you looking forward to September?

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

2011-07-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

The Empty Nesters had the great pleasure of attending the wedding of a young woman we have known since she was in kindergarten. We've celebrated countless birthdays and holidays with our friends and their families and now we find ourselves at the next stage- the weddings. We sat outside under the setting Southern California sun, listening to the orchestra play Marry Me by Train as the wedding party made their way down the flower strewn aisle. We witnessed the proud parents and the bride and groom standing under the wedding canopy exchanging their vows and becoming husband and wife. Traditions were observed and we smiled and shed tears of joy. It seems just yesterday we stood there ourselves. Many years have passed since the Nesters were young brides. We've lived full lives, had careers, bought homes, raised children, cared for our families, struggled, achieved, laughed, cried and counted our blessings. We've learned from our experiences and continue to strive to make our good lives even better. The young couple has their whole lives in front of them. Their journey is yet uncharted. But on their wedding day, as they dance to their special song, they begin down their path together. And we older and experienced brides dance with our own Prince Charmings ( a special shout out to both "Mister Nesters" who still fit into their tuxedos of years gone by) knowing just what a splendored thing is love.

The Empty Nesters visited with Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, MS, PT and author of

A Happy You :Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. From Appreciation to ZZZ Sleep, Dr. Lombardo shared her strategies for reducing stress and creating happiness. You can read her blog at http://www.ahappyyou.com/.

The Dog Days Are Over

2011-07-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

The term Dog Days refers to the hottest, and most sultry days of summer. In the Northern Hemisphere they usually occur between July and September. The name comes from the ancient belief that Sirius, The Dog Star, in its close proximity to the sun was responsible for the hot weather. Here in Los Angeles the Dog Days arrived early this year. This past weekend the temperatures hit triple digits in the inland areas. Yet the beaches were blanketed by a thick marine layer and the sun didn't shine through until mid afternoon. That's the dichotomy of our region. Sort of like the boomerang effect on our proverbial nest. We parents prepare, the kids leave. We adjust, they return. Our routines have changed. The once ritual family dinner hour has morphed into a more casual affair- maybe a last minute decision to eat out, maybe cheese, crackers and wine and a Netflix movie. Their routine of college life has most definitely changed. Living back at the family home means responsibilities to the parents- a text to notify us of the ever changing evening plans, dishes put away and quieter voices late at night. Our schedules don't always sync- late nights for them, early mornings for us. But as topsy turvy as it is, the energy they bring into the home is a blessing- the laughter, the conversations and even the laundry fill our nest and that's something we love.
The Empty Nesters will be speaking with novelist Sarah Bird about her just released book, The Gap Year. The novel provides a soulful portrait of that awkward, exhilarating and bittersweet point in a mother’s relationship with her child — the time to let go. We have an advance copy to give away to a reader. Just leave a comment on the blog and you'll be eligible to win this book which Good Housekeeping magazines has put on its list of great summer reads.

California Dreaming

2011-06-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

Ah California. The Golden State, home to Hollywood and Napa Valley, San Francisco and Malibu, Silicon Valley and Disneyland and of course The Empty Nesters. One native and one transplanted New Yorker. Sure our state is a bit dysfunctional. Our legislators can't pass a budget. We've elected a couple of handsome movie stars as Governors. The first was certainly more successful than the disgraced most recent Chief Executive. Our cities' local politicians concern themselves with circumcision and traffic signal cameras as if those are the pressing issues on everyone's minds. Our fine colleges and universities are being woefully impacted by budget cuts and ever increasing tuition. The Los Angeles Dodgers, one of baseball's most fabeled franchises, is crumbling under the (lack of) stewardship of their owner. But in spite of our woes, California has a luster of its own. A native might have first realized the allure when the Ricardos and Mertzes headed West singing " California Here We Come." Sure, That Girl lived the single life in Manhattan and the Petires were suburbanites in New Rochelle, but Lucy and Jed Clampett, like the real 49'ers of The Gold Rush, couldn't wait to come to California. Countless songs have immortalized our golden coast. The Beach Boys, The Mamas and Papas and Santa Barbara native Katy Perry have sung our praises. We have silken sand and majestic peaks, vineyards and orchards, agriculture and technology. Neil Diamond sang about our hot August nights and Otis Redding sat on the dock of our Bay. Next week the Nesters will celebrate Independence Day at the Hollywood Bowl picnicking under the stars and enjoying 70's pop duo Hall and Oates, finishing off the night with fireworks. We'll have a chance to forget the problems that plague our state and count our blessings to be citizens of the greatest country on God's green earth and particularly the golden state of California.

Those Lazy, Crazy, Hazy Days

2011-06-22T07:05:00.000-07:00

It is officially here. Today marks the Summer Solstice, the first day of Summer, the longest day of the year. Yes, it is summertime- is the livin' truly easy? Are the days lazy and crazy? When the kids were young, summer days were filled with swimming, popsicles, picnics, backyard camping, lemonade stands, staying up late, kite flying and family vacations. As they got older the carefree days were replaced by day camp, which gave way to sleep away camp, then teen tours and soon the kids were the counselors with summer jobs and obligations of their own. Now they are young adults with lives of their own. They may not have accrued vacation time from their employment. And if they do have time off they may want to spend it with their own friends. Yes, that's how it's supposed to be. But we nesters aren't quite ready for the shift. We should embrace the freedoms the changes bring. After all, vacation travel is way easier in the Spring and Fall. And cheaper too when it's only two. Summer entertaining now includes more margaritas and less pool patrol. Our heads know all of this- it's our hearts that miss the sandy toes and sweet smell of sunscreen on our kids' sun kissed faces. Think I'll go get myself a popsicle this afternoon.

That's Life

2011-05-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

As the old song says " You're riding high in April, shot down in May." It wasn't supposed to end this way. We were supposed to be cruising through the Western Conference in April and May, meeting up with the best of the East in June, then celebrating the Purple and Gold with Randy Newman's" I Love L.A." blaring down the parade route. We were supposed to send Phil off to retirement in Montana with another championship ring. But instead, Mother's Day 2011 saw an epic fail on the part of the Los Angeles Lakers. I hope Mrs. Nowitski and Mrs. Barea had a nice Mother's Day watching their sons wipe out the defending champs. I'm guessing the mothers of Kobe Bryant and Andrew Bynum didn't.
These are some of the worst times to be a sports fan in Los Angeles. The Lakers were swept out of the playoffs, The Dodgers are in disarray amid team owner Frank McCourt's nasty divorce and revelations that he has leveraged the team for personal gain. Our local colleges aren't faring much better. USC football is still on probation and ineligible for post season play. UCLA had another lackluster (translate: losing) season. Bruin basketball's efforts to return to glory have been thwarted by player's defection to the NBA. The NHL's Kings started the season strong, stumbled late in the season and ultimately lost 3 home games in the playoffs. Heck - even in the Kentucky Derby the best a Southern Californian horse could do was 10th place. Sheesh! It's going to be a long summer.
And how was your Mother's Day?

Life Is A Mystery

2011-03-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

The empty nesters have never been to Japan. However, since California is home to 55% of the nation’s Asian population, we are often reminded of the influence Japanese culture has in our world. From cameras to TVs to cars, and most significantly to our kids, sushi restaurants, Japanese customs and ingenuity are part of our everyday lives.

The constant threat of earthquakes is another commonality we share. For those of you who have never experienced the earth shaking to its core with no safe place to grab, it is beyond frightening and unsettling. Watching and listening to the walls of your home sway and groan is an experience that literally rocks your world, and not in a good way.

An earthquake alone is scary; add a force of water so strong that heavy truck, homes and boats are moved around like LEGOS and you cannot possibly wrap your head around the disaster. With radiation leaks from a nuclear power plant added to the mix the tragedy unfolding is beyond measure.

As we write this, the tragedy in Japan is almost 2 weeks old and there appears to be no end in sight for the misery that has befallen our ally. The damaged Fukushima plant continues to be a cause of concern and a message to the entire world that nuclear energy comes at a dire cost. Humans can try and plan for every possible variable, but nature always steps up to remind us who really is boss.

We are saddened by the tremendous loss of life and reminded that all that we know and love can be taken away in an instant, through no fault of our own. Here are a few agencies providing relief to the earthquake and tsunami victims:

The Jewish Coalition for Disaster Relief:https://www.jdc.org/donation/donate.aspx?type=JCDR

The Jewish Joint Distribution Committee:https://jdc.org/donation/donate.aspx

The Jewish Federation: http://www.jewishfederations.org/page.aspx?id=238775

If you would like additional choices, try charitynavigator.org. That is a fantastic resource if you want to check out the efficiency of a particular charitable organization.

Join the empty nesters on Wednesday, March 23 at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. As always, if you cannot listen LIVE you can check out any show, any time by simply clicking on the above link.

Park Your Nonsense

2011-03-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks have been busy ones for the empty nesters. The Grammys, graduate school acceptances for both our daughters, out of town family visits, and the granddaddy award show of them all, the Oscars. But this past week Claudia and Jill, along with the rest of the world, have been mesmerized watching the Charlie Sheen meltdown unfold in the press. Not being addiction experts, we have no idea if he is in fact on a death spiral. What we cannot get out of our heads is the anguish his parents, Martin and Janet Sheen must be feeling right now.

It is one thing to go through a child’s downward trajectory in your own private agony. Even at the age of 46, and with 5 children of his own, Sheen is still someone’s son. When every word and nonsensical thought is documented on the internet, social media, and through the very institution (TV) which brought fame and fortune to you, that has got to hurt. Badly.

Rumor has it that Sheen smoked his first joint at age 11 and paid for his first hooker at the age of 15 with a credit card he stole from his dad. Admittedly, life in Hollywood is difficult and complicated even when one is not rich and famous. The progeny of movie stars have added pressures and difficulties, especially when the offspring decide to go into the “family business.” And like him or not, Charlie Sheen’s success is at the least equal to his father’s; perhaps even surpassing daddy’s fame.

Fame, however, is no justification for the picture all of us have seen this week of an obviously disturbed individual, whose conversations are laced with vitriol and delusions of grandeur. One could argue that as the highly paid star of the most successful sitcom on TV he got away with boorish behavior much longer than he should have. What options do parents of an adult in a public meltdown mode have other than to stand by, offer love and pray for the best? We imagine Martin and Janet are struggling with how their son got to this point and wondering what they could have done differently, if anything, to have avoided such a public spectacle.

That Sheen is a father of 4 children under the age of 10 only makes the situation that much more heartbreaking. While they may be shielded from the hoopla surrounding their father now, as his kids get older they will have complete access to every word, quote, and picture of this moment in time. To use a favorite Sheen catchphrase, winning would be their dad being around to explain himself when the time comes.

The empty nesters most recent show features an interview with friend, photographer, and Oscar attendee Aline Smithson, who shares her experience going down the red carpet with the stars. Check out all the shows in the archives at www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

Only the Good Die Young

2011-01-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

We are only a couple of weeks into 2011, still high on the possibilities a new year brings. The recent tragedy in Tucson, Arizona smacked us in the face with the fragility of life. 6 innocent people, including a nine year old girl dead, and a dozen others injured including United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who remains in serious condition after miraculously surviving a gunshot wound to the head. A deranged individual's action instantly changed the lives of the families and society as a whole. Quietly closer to home we lose loved ones every day, both expected and suddenly.Last Fall The Empty Nesters, part of the Boomer/Sandwich generation, experienced the passing of several parents of friends. We comfort our friends during their times of sadness. It is the tragic death of a peer that shakes us to the core. Facing our own mortality doesn't come easy at our age. I suppose it never does. Reading the obituaries in the local paper or in today's version of the town crier, Facebook, connects us to the lives of people with whom we may have lost touch. Claudia recently attended the funeral of such a friend. Sharing memories with community brings comfort. Burying someone is the ultimate act of kindness- it is an act that the deceased cannot do for themselves or every repay. The takeaway of emotion from a week of loss should be renewed commitment to life, to friends, to work, to passion and to love.
Rest in Peace my dear friend. May your memory be a blessing and your legacy be inspiration.

The Empty Nesters will be speaking with Susan Hirshman, CPA, CFP and author of Does This Make My Assets Look Fat: A Woman's Guide to Finding Financial Empowerment and Success. Join the conversation live Wednesday, January 12th 11:00 a.m. PT or anytime 24/7 on the archives www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

Snow is a Four Letter Word!

2011-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

The empty nesters wish our readers and listeners a very happy and healthy 2011. We are excited about the opportunities and possibilities a new year brings and energized by our recent switch to Premium hosts on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

If the empty nesters have learned anything during their journey, it is that life never runs smoothly from point A to point B. Surprises, disappointments, and frustrations often appear to make the voyage more complicated and confusing. Nothing could be more certain than uncertainty during the past few weeks of our college student’s winter break.

Juggling different family vacation schedules is never easy. Accommodating conflicting routines often presents a challenge; and our generation of parents never wants any of our offspring to feel left out! Planning a vacation or outing or holiday party can require a spread sheet to figure out when everyone’s schedule actually puts them in the same city at the same time. And even then, life (like snow or delayed/costly airplane travel) can intervene and you know the rest, “the best laid plans…”

The past few weeks were particularly stressful in Jill’s home. Her son went to Israel on Birthright, the free trip available to young Jewish adults between the ages of 18-26. All went so well that he extended his trip a few extra days and was scheduled to come home the day the historic snowstorm closed most airports on the East coast. Suddenly a trip that was supposed to be 10 days suddenly became a 3 week adventure.

What do you do as a parent when your child is over 7,000 miles from home and stranded in a foreign country? You freak out a little (ok, maybe a lot) but then calm down after your son assures you he is absolutely fine and has a warm place to stay with a lovely family who has taken him in. But when you have to deal with an airline, in this case Continental, totally unprepared for the passenger backlog created by the bad weather, your blood pressure rises once more. After watching all the pictures of travelers stranded at airports worldwide, there was valid concern it could be weeks before the trip west would begin. Agita City!!!

The good news is that on New Years Day, after 22 hours in the air, he made it back to Los Angeles, full of stories, experiences, and friendships that will probably stay with him the rest of his life. So a very stressful week finally came to an end. Lessons were learned: young adults are far more resilient than we often give them credit for. As baby boomer parents we can plan til the cows come home but the reality is we control very little. Biggest lesson learned: never fly through the East Coast in the middle of winter if you can avoid it!

Join the empty nesters LIVE at 11Am PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters on Wed. Jan 5 for a fascinating chat with Julienne Davis and Maggie Arana, the authors of "Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex: How Changing Your Every Day Habits Will Make You Hot For Each Other Again, And please remember, if you cannot listen to the LIVE broadcast, you can click on the link to the show 24/7!

Mourning A Mother

2010-12-07T22:43:00.000-08:00

The empty nesters join the entire country in mourning the passing of Elizabeth Edwards. A lawyer, political wife, writer, and most importantly mother of 4, Elizabeth lost her valiant battle with metastatic cancer this morning with her family, including estranged husband John, by her side. Whatever we think of John and his despicable behavior, he is the father of their children. It will now be his responsibility to raise their two youngest , Emma Claire 12, and Jack 10.

The Edwards story has been all over the media. They achieved tremendous financial and professional success during their 30 year marriage. He was the rags to riches PI attorney who came thisclose to being Vice President of the United States. She was the brilliant bankruptcy and public service attorney who was her husband’s closest advisor and confidant. But their charmed life was changed in an instant when their 16 year old son Wade was killed in a car accident.

There are many fears associated with parenting but undoubtedly the most frightening is that something will happen to one of our children and the second scariest concern is that something will happen to us before our job is done as parents. Elizabeth Edwards lived through the first and for the past few years knew the second was her destiny. While going through this she was forced to face her husband’s very public betrayal.

From what we have seen and read, she refused to let all the sadness around her define her life. She has been an eloquent spokesperson for causes she believed in and writer of inspirational books. But most of all she devoted the time she had left to creating memories for her young children so they would remember their mother. Losing a mother at any age is difficult to accept. Hopefully John and their oldest Cate will do their best to keep Elizabeth’s memory alive. She will certainly live on in the hearts of those of us who saw her personal story played out in the open.

Our thoughts are with all the Edwards this evening and we hope they take comfort in the outpouring of love for this inspirational woman. As Elizabeth Edwards said on Monday: “The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful." Rest In Peace.

Please join the empty nesters on Wednesday, December 8^th on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters at 11AM PT LIVE or 24/7 by clicking on the link. Our special guest will be “Living Without Reservations” author Barbara Elaine Singer. Barbara will share her amazing life’s journey with us from ITALY!!!

Everyone Has A Story

2010-10-20T00:15:00.000-07:00

The empty nest is a transformational time of life. As our children make their own life choices and determinations, nothing is ever the same. Unlike in elementary school where parental involvement touches all aspects of a student’s world, in the empty nest, mom and dad move to the back burner and consider themselves lucky to receive any information at all.

What will happen when today’s student becomes a baby boomer and the consequences of all those choices are now the palette of a life?

Jill was able to get a glimpse of what that picture might be like when she recently went to a reunion of her college roommates. It was a weekend of laughter, tears, and serious female bonding. Granted, the world of the 70s was a very different place from the world our kids face. Way back then, the US ended the Vietnam War but for today’s generation, the war in Afghanistan rages on. Roe v Wade became the law of the land but controversy about that Supreme Court decision still rages. The World Trade Center, then in its inaugural year, is no longer standing. The Dow Jones at 850 in the early 70s , now flirts with 11,000. And the average price of a gallon of gas was $ .40 and around $3.00/gallon today. Main frame computers have been replaced by laptops.

Despite all the obvious changes from the 1970s to 2010, human strengths and weaknesses have not varied so much. The challenges which define us as human beings remain constant. Of the 5 attendees, 2 have been married to the same partner for almost 40 years. There have been a total of 4 divorces, 8 marriages, 9 children, 3 grandchildren, and various medical ordeals. 2 stayed in touch since graduation despite being on opposite coasts. When the “Fab 5” reunited at Newark Airport, the years melted away and time stopped. Each welcome hug and kiss was sincere and heartfelt and reinforced that the bond built in the corridors of Van Ren Hall at University at Albany so many years ago was unbroken.

The accommodations at the Jersey shore were lovely and cozy, and a proper intimate setting for 5 old friends to talk about what happened in their lives. Over great food and wine everyone had the opportunity to share both the joy and the sorrow that occurred in the almost 40 years of living since college graduation. It was painful to learn how many were hurt and disappointed by loved ones and yet from every setback came a true commitment to life, to move on, to grow, and to make lemonade from lemons. Most importantly, the laughter was constant…at little things, at silly things, at how each person was there to tell their tale. A great weekend and an even greater life lesson…that even time and distance cannot break certain connections. Plans are already in the works for another gathering next year!

New friends are wonderful and extremely important, but spending time with people who remember where you came from is a special treat to savor. We would like to pass this old advice on to our children: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” How true it was this past weekend.

Join the empty nesters LIVE at 11AM PT on Wednesday October 20, 2010 at www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters to hear more about the Jersey shore adventure (was there a Bruce Springsteen sighting?). Unable to listen LIVE? The show is available 24/7…just click on the link.

All The Leaves Are Brown

2010-10-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been busy ones for the empty nesters. Living in Los Angeles can bring unique experiences to your daily routine. You never know when a movie or TV star might be behind you in line at your local Starbucks or at the bank.

Right before the Emmy Awards, Claudia was invited to display her adorable kids clothing designs (claudiabethB.etsy.com) one of the swag suites. For those of you unfamiliar with the word swag: celebrities get free merchandise from vendors before awards shows (probably many other times too). These items range from cell phones to ipads to eyeglasses. If a photo of a celebrity with a particular item appears in one of the weekly gossip magazines, the publicity is worth its weight in gold! Just imagine Suri or Seraphina wearing one of ClaudiabethB.etsy.com designs: PRICELESS. We won’t even touch the fact that celebs, most quite generously compensated, “expect” to receive free “stuff.”

Claudia invited Jill to join her at the swag table. And a fun afternoon it was watching the many celebs gush over Claudia’s designs. Of course when the hot hot hot Gilles Marini stopped by (with his gorgeous wife and family) it was impossible to focus on much beside his awesomeness, but Claudia rose to the occasion and hopefully you will see Gilles’ daughter wearing one of her designs.

One the heels of the Emmys came the High Holidays, a ten day period of introspection which commemorates the Jewish new year, also known as the “Days of Awe.” It was a time spent praying, sharing meals with family and resolving to be a better person in the year to come.

Summer gave way to fall and with it school finally began for our kids and the empty nest truly roared its head. We thought we were used to a quieter home, but after the hustle and bustle of a full house, it took a little while to readjust to the silence. Whatever stage of the nest, you do miss your kids when they leave.

While there have been many wonderful occasions to celebrate, the news has not all been good and the past few months have brought illness and loss to many people in our world. We have wondered if 2010 has been an aberration or is this what happens as you get older? Whatever the reason, we extend condolences to everyone who has lost a loved one and wish a speedy recovery to all who are ill.

The empty nesters welcome Susan Shapiro Barash, author of “You’re Grounded Forever….But First Let’s Go Shopping” to www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters Wednesday morning, October 6 @ 11Am PT LIVE, or 24/7 in the show archives. Barash illuminates the complicated world of mothers and daughters! Join in the conversation.

The Elephant In the Room

2010-08-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

If you identify yourself as an empty nester it means that you have had both the pleasure and the pain of raising at least one child into young adulthood.

Every offspring has a distinct journey. The continual argument of nature versus nurture is ongoing. Our unscientific experience has shown us it is probably a little of both since between our two families of two children each (two boys and two girls) there are very distinct personalities and skillsets yet all are without a doubt members of the family in which they were born.

Our generation tried to raise our progeny to “feel good about who they are.” We encouraged them to try everything, to play soccer or softball despite no apparent athletic gene in their body. Everyone made the team in elementary school….maybe “team 3” instead of “team 1,”…but they made the team nonetheless, showing as the quote from “Back to the Future” says, “if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.”

Reality is a little different. Someone without good hand eye coordination is not going to be good at softball. Sorry. The sport of basketball is not meant for those short in stature. The singing lead in the school musical is not going to someone tone deaf, no matter how much prep work is done for the audition. But those are fairly easy disappointments to explain away. After all, skill is skill.

What about the more difficult to define hurts slightly more complicated to explain away? Like when the entire class is invited to Susie’s house for a birthday party but your child is not. Or when it seems like the whole world has play dates every weekend, and your child is home alone, again. There are no simple ways to ease those feelings; even the “cool” kids, we are sure had those moments when they were excluded. As parents we tried everything we could to explain away the slights. Maybe we ignored them or swept it under the rug. Perhaps we didn’t particularly care for the host/hostess anyway. It is difficult to own up that our own child might be out of the ordinary and when they are young we don’t know if they will find their way, we can only hope.

After all that baggage during those growing years, we would imagine that when our children reach young adulthood we would be past that need to fit in. But low and behold, our own adult world can be thrown upside down during this empty nest process and we aren’t quite sure where we belong. All of a sudden it isn’t the kids who are no longer included but us. After doing so much rationalizing for them, who is there to helps us understand why friendships have faded.

The empty nest isn’t simply about our children leaving home and forging new identities. As “grownups” we have the opportunity to do the same thing and redefine who we are and who we want to be as well. It can be a painful and difficult process to look around and realize that those habits which worked in the past, not so much anymore. As our recent guest Steven J. Fogel says in his book “My Mind Is Not Always My Friend”, this is a great time to see certain truths,“unstick” ourselves, and try to see the world a little differently.

And get rid of those elephants in the room!!!

Catch our interview with Steven J. Fogel and any other archived show by clicking on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters 24/7. You can podcast shows on itunes too.

SALT...With A Touch of Spice

2010-07-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was comprised of those all too frequent empty nester moments when everyone was away, except the dog. And as wonderful a companion as she is, conversation is not one of her strengths! So what does a nester do when completely alone on those once tumultuous Saturdays and Sundays? No question it takes some adjustment for it to sink in that the frenetic activity of a busy home has become more like a library.

We believe it is important to be out there and embrace what you love to do, alone or not. It is great to have people to hang with but if no one is available that should not be a barrier to life. Ok, ok some things just aren’t fun doing by yourself….keep it clean readers! You could stay home and view everything backed up on TIVO, but we happen to love the cinema. Movies are one of those shared communal experiences where if the truth be told you don’t really need a companion…well, perhaps that doesn’t apply to a flick like “Inception” which we are dying to see but refuse to go solo….but “Salt” seemed viewable, even for members of “Team Jennifer.” So after much consternation about feeling disloyal (like Jennifer Anniston cares), it was time to schlep to the theater and purchase one ticket.

The verdict on the film: an eh movie with holes in the script you could drive a mack truck through, but Angelina proves she is a bona fide female action movie star. She is skin and bones but makes you believe you DO NOT want to piss her off! She gives better than she gets is all we can say. No wonder Brad is staying put!!! Oh yeah, must also grudgingly admit she is hot. The buzz is she did most of the stunts herself which if true, is most impressive, especially when she maneuvers a thin apartment building ledge, shoeless.

As for being alone at the movies: the woman in the next seat initiated a conversation about cell phones and the senior gentleman on the other side politely inquired if there was a husband anywhere. Afterwards there was a group discussion about the plot twists. So what began as a solo excursion wasn’t totally. Bottom line…keep your mind and your heart open to different people and experiences you never thought you could do.

“DO ONE NICE THING: Little Things You Can Do to Make the World a Lot Nicer" author and website founder Debbie Tenzer stops by to chat with the Empty Nesters on Wednesday, July 28, 2010 at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. If you cannot join us live, you can find our conversation with Debbie (or any other of our guests) 24/7 by clicking on the link to the show.

A Midsummer Night's Ramblings

2010-07-13T15:51:00.000-07:00

It may be mid- July but for most empty nesters these are the dog days. Once July 4th comes and goes the summer flies by. With many students returning to college in a month, this time of year really is the calm before the storm. Kids are settled into their summer schedules, and hopefully adjustments have been made at the house for the additional mouth(s) to feed and TV viewing to share.

For us, summer began with a lot of illness. Both close friends and family, ranging from minor to life threatening to complicated, but all with an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. During a different time in life if a friend became ill we knew exactly how to galvanize into action. Meals, play dates, carpool arrangements were lifesavers if someone was unable to take care of those things for themselves. At our current stage in life it is somewhat more complicated. One or two people living at home don’t need play date arrangements. You cannot help but be distressed by the inability to do something substantial. So, as part of the techno generation you send thoughts via email, text and BBM. And you pray...a lot of praying going on this summer at Shabbat services of every faith. To our friends having a difficult time we love you and re’fuah sh’leima: renewal of body and renewal of spirit.

There have been some pleasant surprises as well. A couple of months ago we never heard of a town in the Florida panhandle called Destin. Then came the Deepwater Horizon oil spill and all Gulf coast locations were suddenly in the news. Coincidentally, Jill and her husband were scheduled to go there for a business trip. Concerned about tourism, the hotel complex had a beach camera set up for viewing on the internet as well as a link to the most up to date information on gulf conditions, including locations where oil was found and air quality. Serious efforts were made to keep guests informed. It was decided not to cancel and Jill and Lenny were blown away by what they found. During their visit, the beaches were gorgeous and fortunately no oil, tar balls, or smells were in the area. This vacation spot is clearly a popular destination for residents of Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas…not a lot of Angelenos or New Yorkers in sight. Without a doubt, Southern hospitality truly exists!

Anyone out there watch the FIFA world cup??? Honestly, we always felt soccer was boring, even when our kids played and never thought we would ever get into watching a full game, let alone over 60!!! At first, it was a way to hang out, but as the competition progressed….watching Landon Donovan make that goal for the USA to land the team into the quarterfinals was inspiring….we couldn’t wait for the next game. Admittedly the final between Spain and the Netherlands was not pretty, but the best team did win and for us it was great parent/child bonding!

The recent Emmy nominations are another reminder the summer is flying by. Claudia and Jill welcome back TV Guide’s very own Damian Holbrook to dissect the Emmy winners, losers, and surprises on Wednesday 11AM PT (2PM ET) on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. Join us live or 24/7 by clicking on the show link or downloading us on itunes.

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

2010-06-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

It is during times of transition we are acutely aware of our empty nesters status. For the 18+ years our children were home and attended school, life was totally defined by a September to June schedule with summer break a resting phase between academic years. That is not so much the case anymore.

Planning a summer family vacation was a significant ritual during those early years. It didn’t have to be a jaunt to Europe or Hawaii; a road trip to a semi local destination was fine too. The empty nesters spent many vacations together at a nearby and extremely low key “family camp” with inter-generataional activities and a great time was had by both parents and kids. Honestly, we miss the days when our kids learned to ride bikes without training wheels.

Today preparing a family vacation is as complicated as orchestrating a well oiled military operation. Blackberries ping with ferocity as school and work schedules are coordinated and possible locations are tossed aside with contempt: “Mom, we went there last year,” or “Dad, I want to go away with my friends. It is soooo boring to go away with the family.” Did we mention how much we miss the days when the only criteria in choosing a vacation time and place was what the family budget could handle and not temperamental hissy fits? Although, come to think of it there were plenty of those back then too!

Our two cents: family vacations are still a wonderful time to be together away from the overly pressured lives we lead. Your family may have a few new members (spouse, grandchild, significant other) which have forever changed the basic familial unit. Hopefully that is a good thing and everyone gets along reasonably well.

We believe it is worth making the effort and hope you and your families are able to make something happen, even if it is only for a long weekend. Spending time outside of a regular routine and distractions allows us to get reacquainted with the people who are so dear to us. At least one empty nester won’t be following our advice. Due to the different work and school schedules in Jill’s family, a summer vacation is not happening in her home. Always optimists, the empty nesters look ahead to December and winter break vacation possibilities!

Join the empty nesters on Wednesday 6/23 at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when they chat with "How To Never Look Fat Again" author Charla Krupp. Charla will be leading a master class in the dos and don'ts of dressing thin on Wednesday's show. Unable to listen live? All shows are available 24/7 by clicking on the above link

Betwixt, Bothered, and Bewildered

2010-06-02T00:08:00.000-07:00

The empty nest is an ever revolving stage of life. High school graduation is only the beginning of a process that continues for years.

The journey begins that senior year of high school when you realize almost 18 years of helicopter parenting is coming to an end, or so you think. Whatever path your graduate chooses is probably not permanent for awhile. Since our knowledge is mostly about the college experience, we tend to focus there in our musings.

The summer after high school graduation can be very uneven. One day your son or daughter cannot get enough of you. The next day they may be testing to see how far they can push before you throw your hands up and say enough! Is it time to move into school yet? Wish we could tell you that all will run smoothly through July and August until move in day, but that would be a false promise. Unfortunately, the yin and yang is necessary for everyone to prepare for the relationship changes ahead.

After college move in most everyone adjusts to the new normal. Parents grow accustomed to the quiet of the house and actually enjoy the empty nest. Students adjust to college life. School breaks and summer vacations upset the apple cart and routines are disrupted. Flexibility is necessary as this back and forth continues the 4, 5, or 6 years until college graduation.

After graduation, reality sinks in and choices must be made: graduate school, career, travel, marriage? Many students take a gap year or two at this point to help focus on what direction they really want to go. Many move home after college, especially in this economy. It becomes all too obvious parental roles have changed and we are supporting players, not the driving force. Hopefully there has been some maturity through the college years, but our support, financial and emotional, is still needed on many levels. They need us, they still need us. Can you keep a secret? We like being needed!

It is said that we are truly empty nesters when our children are no longer on our wireless phone family plan. While we remain betwixt and between waiting for that to happen, we are determined to go with the flow and appreciate the ride.

Join the Empty Nesters on Wednesday, June 2, when they welcome “Never Pay Retail Again” author and fashion guru Daisy Lewellyn live at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters or 24/7 in the show archives or on itunes.

Mother's Day...It's Complicated!

2010-05-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

For an empty nester, celebrating mother’s day can be complicated. We baby boomers are of a certain age where there is a strong possibility one or both or our parents may not longer be around. On the other end of the spectrum, many college students are in the middle of finals and unable to observe the day like they did while living at home. What is your response when the media and Hallmark do everything possible to bombard you with reminders about that second Sunday in May?

Everyone thinks Mother’s Day was the brainchild of florists and Hallmark cards. In reality, the idea to set aside a day to honor mothers was hatched by a West Virginia woman, Anna Jarvis. With the help of Philadelphia merchant John Wanamaker back in the early 1900s (in the spirit of full disclosure, a few years ago one of the empty nesters was an employee at Wanamaker’s) an idea took off. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day an official national holiday. While Hallmark and other business interests were not the driving force behind the idea, they took so much ownership of the idea that late in her life Jarvis herself disavowed the day for being too commercial!

Empty nesters are perfect models of the complexity and ambiguity of Mother’s Day in 2010. With food and drink the primary way to celebrate (Mother’s Day is one of the most popular days of the year for dining out…just try and get a reservation) if it is physically impossible for the entire family to share a meal together flexibility is necessary. Skype is one fantastic solution….not the same as sharing a meal or the touch of a hug, but it is a way where technology can make distance a little less lonely.

For those among us who are motherless daughters, there is no technological solution. The loss of a mother at any age is painful and Mother’s Day is a reminder of that missing relationship. Having your own children to celebrate the day with is wonderful, but your own mom’s absence cannot help but make everything bittersweet. The Saturday before Mother’s Day has become Motherless Daughter’s Day to set aside time to honor those moms who have passed.

When it all comes together it truly is sweet. It is not the gifts or flowers that make the day special. Being on the receiving end of everyone’s love and attention is wonderful…even if it is only one day a year. Both Claudia and Jill will remember Mother’s Day 2010 with a real smile; our families made the day very special. Of course on Monday, all was back to normal! Told you it was complicated!

Times may be tough but we can still look fabulous. On Wednesday 5/12 at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters , the Empty Nesters speak with author and fashion guru Daisy Lewellyn about her new book, "Never Pay Retail Again." Join in the conversation.

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged

2010-04-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

One of the most challenging aspects of life as an empty nester is the quiet in the house. Hustle and bustle, once the primary adjectives used to describe life in our homes, were replaced by stillness and tranquility. And at times, the silence can be deafening.

Let’s face it. We grew accustomed to the life force teenagers brought to the house. Part of the empty nest journey is to find a new balance in all our relationships; with our partners, our kids old friends, even our yoga instructors! After so many years of micromanaging everyone’s schedule, we now can focus more on our own personal goals and dreams.

A huge part of the refocusing and realignment is reaching back. The “miracle” of social networking has made it is easier and easier to reconnect with people from our past. Half of our Facebook “friends” are men and women from high school days. We may not have spoken to each other in several decades and may live 3,000 miles apart but somehow texting and messaging makes the time and distance slip away and it feels good on many levels.

On other levels it feels weird. You reconnect with someone who you knew when you were 18 for God’s sake. So much happened in the ensuing years: partners, kids, illness, jobs, LIFE! Reunions bring all the insecurities from high school back in spades and you realize that no matter how far you may have grown, that teenager is still in you….and in the cheerleader and in the brainiac and in the jock. It helps open your eyes to what your kids are going through.

Technology has given our generation such a gift to connect with the world and with our past. Somehow it brings some comfort, don’t ask us why, and there is a thrill to spend time with someone who knew us when. Perhaps because when all is said and done, most of us don’t change quite that much. We get older, put on weight, maybe lose weight, suffer through tragedy and sadness, but in the end, human nature is such that the more we all change, the more we stay the same!

Join the empty nesters every Wednesday at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

2010-04-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

The empty nest is chock full of surprises and we are repeatedly reminded to “expect the unexpected.” We recently attended a 50th birthday luncheon at the home of a dear friend of ours and like every landmark occasion it got us to reflect on how far we have come these past few years.

When the empty nest happens, we don’t just say good bye to our children. We say good bye to a way of life that has been cultivated for close to 20 years. Whether you have been a “stay at home” parent, work full time, were extremely involved in the parent association, or just participated in once a year field trips much of life has been centered on the rhythm of school. In the lower grades there were the field trips and oranges for soccer practice. As kids grew, it may have been bringing snacks for theatrical productions or schlepping cross town for a robotics competition. Whatever…there was an almost ritualized weekly schedule of events and contact with other parents that filled our lives.

We love our children, but part of the attraction was the interaction with other parental units. No efforts had to be made for a social life with peers; it was just there. We have many email group lists on our computers for all the different activities our kids were involved with.

Once the empty nest arrives, adult social life requires a lot more effort. Instead of running into a friend in a school parking lot and having a heartfelt conversation, advance planning for outings are totally necessary. We have also found that along with our empty nests, another life change has been that we use the phone less and less and BBM, Facebook and email more to keep in touch. That gives us the opportunity to keep in touch with more people without playing dreaded phone tag.

One of the most heartening outcomes our efforts have been the development of different groups of friends we have reconnected with. Claudia has her walking and mah jong groups. Jill practices yoga and meets with several groups of women on a regular basis. Both of us belong to book groups to foster intellectual along with social interaction. We are moving beyond our old models of school centered activities. We are nurturing relationships on a different level and learning it is never too late to try new things or meet new people. We do miss the everyday hustle and bustle of having the kids around, no question; but the empty nest can be fun and rewarding too once you open your mind and your heart!

The empty nesters are excited to talk with Mary Jo Buttafuco who will talk about her compelling life story and discuss her new book, “GETTING IT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL: Why I Stayed, What I Learned and What Millions of People Involved With Sociopaths Need To Know” on their radio show, Wednesday, April 7th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters!

What Were They Thinking?

2010-03-24T00:22:00.000-07:00

Several months ago the empty nesters were all worked up over the Los Angeles based “Bling Ring,” a group of teenagers who robbed the homes of celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, and Lindsay Lohan. It just seemed distasteful that young adults would have such wanton disregard for the personal property of others and offensive that one of the accused perpetrators was filming a reality show on E!

Don’t get us wrong, we aren’t rigid stick in the muds, but values are important to us and we have tried very hard to instill a moral compass in our own children.

Questionable behavior is all over the media. There is the Tiger Woods debacle. That is a story that never seems to want to die, no matter how many press conferences or interviews he does. We don’t quite understand how his wife could possibly tolerate the humiliation. If she was our daughter we would advise her to split but she isn’t. Elin is an adult and must make her own choices for her family. Maybe Tiger’s “rehab” is working?

The latest “what were they thinking?” is the saga of Jesse James, and we don’t mean the guy from the old west. Oy gevelt. We have been fans of Sandra Bullock’s ever since we saw her in “Demolition Man” with Sylvester Stallone and we never miss “Miss Congeniality” when it is on cable. She truly has become “America’s Sweetheart” through her long and varied career. What other actress would have the chutzpah to attend the Razzies the night before her Oscar triumph?

Like everyone else, we wondered about the match with the uber tattooed, and twice married West Coast Choppers owner James. But hey, we don’t really know Sandra (even though it feels like we do) and sometimes opposites do attract. Her continued support during his custody battle with ex-wife #2 along with all the lovey dovey affection during the awards season made us a bit misty eyed.

What a knife in the heart to learn that while she was away filming her Oscar performance in “The Blind Side” Jesse was shacking up with a tattoo loving stripper. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yeah, so far it is just her accusations, but those text messages were pretty graphic and Jesse has apologized for his “bad behavior.” Hmmmmm. Where there is smoke….

So why does all this upset the empty nesters? Perhaps because these stories are all over the place and we cannot avoid them even if we try. It feels awful to be hurt by anyone, but most of us get to lick our wounds privately. Having the entire world watching must be unbearable. Then again, having the entire world wish you well hopefully brings some solace.

Yoga teacher extraordinaire, author, and good friend Susan Wyler joins the Empty Nesters for some great conversation on Wed, March 24th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

It Ain't Over Til the Fat Lady Sings!

2010-03-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

This ever evolving stage of life called the empty nest can leave parents in a perpetual state of surprise. Agendas are fluid and more flexibility is required than ever before. There is no precise schedule like in the elementary school, little league days. On Monday night there might be two people at the dinner table, a Tuesday afternoon text message might ask if 4 extra mouths could come to the family table and we just love the hustle and bustle of a full house. Then Wednesday could bring the count back down to one.
Once our kids, now young adults, leave for college and beyond we are not involved in the minutia of what goes on in their lives. They study on their own time, go to bed at ridiculous hours, clean their rooms sometimes never, date and befriend people we don’t know. Jill went to see her son in a show at college last week and where she once knew everyone in his high school theater department, at this performance she knew no one. It was a sobering reminder of how our children become so very independent from our homes, our rules, our lives.
Hopefully the values we have striven to instill remain part of their being but we won’t know that for awhile. We have to let them go and grow; we have done our job as parents the best we all could. We now have an obligation to ourselves to grow beyond our parental roles so that we aren’t exactly the same either. It is important to take that photography class, learn how to golf, and embrace our own creativity so we don’t remain stagnant and boring. Claudia has been sewing and creating dresses for young girls.( See link for ClaudiaBeth on the sidebar) Shout out to her!
The revelation comes when you realize that no matter how independent our kids may try to be and how much they try to break away, they do come back. Maybe it is for dinner a few nights a week; perhaps to ask you to proofread a graduate school paper; or even to make travel arrangements for their study abroad program. Just when we thought we were no longer needed, they pull us back in!
They need us, they really need us. And we need them too. With this struggle for independence is a continual push/pull. While our goal is to help our sons and daughters become healthy functioning adults we cannot forget that they will need us emotionally, financially, and otherwise for a long time to come. Being a parent never ends, it just grows and changes. And it is up to us to go with the flow the best we can.
Tuesday night, for the first time in many months, Jill’s entire family sat down to dinner together. Aside from the fact that it was the first time she cooked in many months, she just sat back and enjoyed the moment. Actually, everyone did and it was sweet. The empty nest isn’t so bad after all!
Join Jill and Claudia on Wednesday, March 17, at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters as Jennifer Powers, professional coach, dynamic speaker, and author joins The Empty Nesters to talk about her new book, "Oh Shift!"

The Moment of a Lifetime

2010-03-09T22:46:00.000-08:00

Oscar night is one of the empty nester’s favorite evenings of the year. Watching the stars walk down the red carpet, checking out the fashion dos and don’ts, wondering how much botox a face can tolerate is a tradition we almost always enjoy together. This year Jill and Claudia were in different locations, but even apart watching the really big show was a trip.
This year was particularly fun because we saw many of the nominated films and performances. Like most moviegoers, the moment we saw “Inglorious Basterd’s” Christoph Waltz and Mo’Nique’s performance in “Precious” we knew they would win the coveted gold statuette; sorry to the other nominees but both those actors left indelible marks on our psyches. Jeff Bridges was another sure thing for “Crazy Heart,” but the empty nesters secretly rooted for the dreamy George Clooney. He was fabulous in “Up in the Air” but his character was probably a little too close to the real George.
Then there was the Meryl/Sandra race. Sandra's performance in “The Blind Side” definitely had the mojo. She was terrific. But we had a soft spot for Meryl Streep in “Julia and Julia” and it really doesn’t seem right that she has not won an Oscar since 1982. The way her career is going now, she will hopefully have many more chances to step up on the Kodak stage.
Alec and Steve were charming and funny. Some jokes didn’t work true, but most were right on the mark. They made the most of their 20 minutes on stage and were very comfortable together. Looking at old clips of Baldwin you are reminded that he could have had Clooney’s career…what happened?
As for young Hollywood…Miley needs to work on her posture and Zac and Taylor need some of George’s charisma. Taylor Lautner is the hottest young actor around? Carey Mulligan was so classy and we look forward to watching her career take off.
Oprah Winfrey’s speech about Gabourey Sidibe was so moving. College girl gets nominated for an Oscar and then receives a tribute from Oprah. How wonderful for her.
But the night belonged to two women. Sandra Bullock gave one of the most gracious and moving acceptance speeches, a wonderful tribute to her late mother and her husband. She appears to be a successful actress who does it her way and truly appreciates all she has been given.
And how fitting that Barbra Streisand (who should have been nominated for “Yentl”) gave the best director award to Kathryn Bigelow for “The Hurt Locker,” a tough, gritty film about the Iraq. It was exciting to see Oscar history in front of our eyes .
If one message came through loud and clear, it was to work hard and never to give up on your dreams. Congratulations to all the winners for jobs well done. Hopefully next year the empty nesters will be together once again on Hollywood’s big night.
Jill and Claudia will talk more Oscar stuss and catch up with what else is going on in their lives as empty nesters on Wednesday morning’s show, 3/10/2010, @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. Let them know how you are finding the empty nest @ 347-324-5843 or join the conversation in the chat room.

Tsunami On My Mind

2010-03-02T20:27:00.000-08:00

Claudia and Jill have often spoken of the independence the empty nest stage of life has brought them. Dinnertime doesn’t have to be organized around sports practice or play rehearsals; grocery shopping can be done much less frequently; and vacations can be planned more often and spur of the moment.
Jill’s most recent trip away from the nest was to beautiful Honolulu. Her husband was going for business, and with both children busy in their own lives, all she had to do was pack a bathing suit, put the sunscreen in a ziplock, board the dog, and head for LAX.
Only this trip turned out like no other trip to Waikiki. You see, it was during the recent tsunami warning due to the horrendous 8.8 earthquake in Chile. Hawaii takes potential tsunamis very seriously since they are at risk from far away quakes so often that the front of the phone book has civil defense pages with maps of evacuation areas. In 1960, a tsunami on the island of Hawaii killed 60 people and destroyed over 500 homes in the town of Hilo. And back then it was caused by a massive earthquake in Chile.
From the moment the news of the seismic activity in South America reached Honolulu, the civil defense department rushed into action. Residents and tourists alike went to bed at midnight knowing that in all probability a tsunami would strike Hawaii 15 hours after the quake and Hilo would be first to be hit. At 6AM hotel guests were awakened by the hotel loudspeaker warning that they were in an evacuation area, urging everyone not to panic, and then a civil defense alarm roared. This routine continued every hour until the time of “impact,” around 11:30AM local time. Local TV stations were all tsunami all the time. Guests in the older wings of the hotel Jill and her husband were staying were evacuated to higher ground.
They had a bird’s eye view of the dangerous waters of Waikiki from their 4th floor oceanfront room and memories of devastated Thailand were fresh in their minds. The time fast approached and Hilo was hit by obvious tide changes, but nothing remotely like the horror of the beaches of Pouquet. Still, sirens were wailing all over the now ghost town of Honolulu. Several crazy surfer dudes were doing their thing as zero hour hit Waikiki. As Jill and Lenny ran between the images on the TV and the actual ocean below, they saw the tide clearly change and formerly invisible reefs noticeable. The usual 2 feet of sand became 5 feet. And that was it. 15 hours of anxious anticipation followed by a deep breath. A bullet was dodged.
Kudos to everyone involved for keeping all the tourists and residents safe and informed. It may not have turned into much this time, but it could have. And a big shout out for the clear thinking and calm shown by the staff of the Moana Surfrider.
Join The Empty Nesters on Wed. March 3, at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters, when they speak with David Zyla, Emmy-nominated head costume designer of All My Children, and author of the newly released book," The Color of Style." We'll talk Oscar fashion, breakdown the Bachelor Finale and Jill will give us more of her eyewitness account of last weekend's tsunami activity in Hawaii . Join in the conversation at 347. 324.5843.

March Madness Cometh

2010-02-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

The empty nesters have used this wonderful opportunity to “blog “ and talk to you about the new, scary, exciting, confusing, paradigm shifting, life changes that occur when children move out of the nest . Most everyone has told us that after a period of adjustment (some a little longer than others) the empty nest has been a surprisingly wonderful time to discover and try new things.
For parents of high school seniors, the time of year when you will find out where your child will be attending college is fast approaching. March Madness isn’t only about basketball we can tell you that! Since between us we have gone through this process 6 times, we feel expert enough to advise you to relax and take a deep breath. This is the beginning of the moment when you will be more of a supporting player rather than a lead actor in the life of your son or daughter. While as parents you have certainly helped to prepare him or her for this next step of the journey, these are their accomplishments to own. After all it is their grades, SAT scores, or athletic/artistic achievements that have gotten to this point.
Whatever college letter they receive, yey or ney, it belongs to them. This can be the greatest day of their short lives, or it can be the most disappointing. Whatever the results, parental support and encouragement is vital. They will be on their own soon enough; not just yet.
And for those who may be somewhat disappointed: we can tell you many stories of people we know who were devastated when they were not accepted to their #1 or #2 choices. Funny how things eventually work out since most (okay, not all and that includes first choice and early decision applicants) wind up completely happy and satisfied with the college or university they wind up attending. So, all is not lost. As parents, please try to stay positive and help your son or daughter look for the bright side. Like most things in life success will be measured by what they make of it!
Best selling author Robert Pagliarini returns to talk with Claudia and Jill about his new book," The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth and Purpose" on Wednesday, February 24th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

Human Nature

2010-02-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

The Empty Nesters truly appreciate the many benefits associated with life in Southern California. With voluminous amounts of snowfall throughout most of the country, we get to wake up in mid February to sunny, 80 degree days. Another major perk to life in SoCal is our proximity to all things show business; many cities are known for being “company towns.” It just so happens that where we live, the industry is TV and movie studios.

We recently went on a field trip 90 miles up the coast to gorgeous Santa Barbara, home of a major university, charming downtown, well respected wineries, and the Santa Barbara International Film Festival. We had the opportunity to sit down and talk with filmmaker Larry Nimmer, whose documentary, “Michael Jackson: The Untold Story of Neverland” had its world premiere at the festival.

Nimmer was hired by Michael Jackson’s defense team in 2005 to document events at Jackson’s home in rebuttal to the poor quality tape shot by the Sheriff’s department at Neverland during his arrest in 2003. Nimmer had unprecedented access to the estate and the film features footage presented in court as well as unseen trial footage of Jackson’s accusers, outtakes from the Martin Bashir documentary, “Living with Michael Jackson,” and classic Jackson career highlights.

The filmmaker began his journey of the Beverly Hills type home in a Disneyland setting without a preconceived opinion of guilt or innocence. During filming, he found no drugs, pornographic materials, or secret rooms. In fact, Michael had a varied collection of over 10,000 books, none of which could be considered pornography. Nimmer met Michael once, briefly, and found him to be self effacing and surprisingly tall. If one thing about his physical appearance was unnerving, it was the much talked about cosmetically altered nose.

There is no doubt that talented celebrities are often out of touch with “normal” living and Michael was particularly eccentric. Did this lead to the compromising situations he found himself in? While Nimmer’s goal is to help viewers make up their own minds about guilt or innocence, it is clear he grew to believe that Jackson had been set up by the accusers in both 2003 and 1993; if Jackson was guilty of anything, it was childlike naiveté.

If you are a Jackson fan or are simply fascinated by the facts in this case, this is the movie to see. Nimmer worked so hard to put this together and firmly believes in his project. Check out www.nimmer.net for more information about the film.

The Empty Nesters will be visited by Regina Leeds, author of “One Year to An Organized Financial Life,” on Wednesday, 2/17/2010, at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. Join us live, or 24/7 in the show archives or on itunes.

Today is Your Birthday

2010-02-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

For empty nesters, a birthday can be a double edged sword. On one hand, celebrating another passing year is a good thing but on the other hand, seeing the age numbers creep up can be very sobering. Is it truly possible that those of us who never trusted anyone over 30 are now close to or past double that?

Truth be told, for most of the past 20 something years, birthdays have primarily focused the kids!

In the olden days, when our kids were young, each birthday was a major event. Come on now…remember back to the first birthday of your first child? 40 or so adults and infants crammed into the house or apartment while the poor one year old, maybe walking, definitely crawling, was totally overwhelmed by the three ring circus going on around them. They probably couldn’t even eat their own birthday cake.

Then there was the meticulously planned outdoor dance and jingle party organized only to be rained out… Mother Nature always likes to remind you who really is the boss! (out here on the west coast we are a bit spoiled when it comes to planning outdoor activities but even here Mother Nature rules) Flash forward to a 10 year olds at the skating rink where you hold your breath and pray no one falls and breaks anything. Then there is the surprise 15th where you thought the friends who organized the celebration were pitching in to pay but the true surprise was when you were left with the bill! We could go on and on about birthday party extravaganzas. The point being that this generation of young adults has grown up expecting the anniversary of their birth to be, if not a national holiday, at least a day/evening to remember.

The 21st is a biggie and Vegas is a big birthday destination for many West Coast kids. In reality, they don’t want their parents involved in those festivities. After all, what happens in Vegas…. But what about 22, 23, 24, and on? When do parents officially stop being the organizer and simply participate?

As with everything on this journey, the most significant component is your relationship with your child and how involved he or she wants you to be. Are you even in the same city as your child? Most colleges and universities give you the opportunity to send a birthday cake through their food service. Economic considerations are important too. Most of us cannot afford the $360,000 Maybach car P. Diddy bought for his son’s 16th birthday. Whatever works for your family... for ours, birthdays have always been an important cause for celebration. Even though our kids are growing more independent by the minute, they still like to be acknowledged by mom and dad on their special day.

All My Children fans and fashion aficionados, join the Empty Nesters at www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters , Wednesday, February 10, at 11AM PT when we talk with All My Children head costume designer and “The Style of Color” author David Zyla.

Independence Day

2010-02-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

The journey into the empty nest is an incredible learning experience. From the time it hits that your child will be leaving home, to the actual moment the good bye hug is given, feelings run the gamut from great joy to profound sense of loss. You cannot help but wonder how they will do without your guidance and how you can survive missing their presence.

The Empty Nesters have spent the last few years maneuvering this minefield of emotions by providing tremendous support for each other. At different times both of us have had great pride in the accomplishments of our young adults offset by moments wondering “what were they thinking? The past few weeks have provided both Claudia and Jill with reminders that independence is a good thing for both parent and child.

Many college students choose to study abroad during junior year and for those who do, it is a strong statement of self-sufficiency. Spending time in an unfamiliar culture and language is challenging. Even though most universities have established support systems in different countries, it isn’t home and adjustments must be made for the most basic needs. Claudia’s youngest has taken up the challenge and kudos to him.

Jill’s oldest is in a demanding graduate school program, one requiring leadership and teaching skills. There are requirements to leave books behind and go out in the field and provide education and guidance to people of all ages. The past few weekends were spent in two very different communities and the level of maturity and knowledge displayed would have filled any parent with tremendous pride.

The road to independence for parent and child isn’t always smooth, but when it clicks, it doesn’t get any better!

Join the empty nesters Wed, February 3, at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters where they will be joined by orthopedist and author of “Fitness After 40,” Dr. Vonda Wright.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

2010-01-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

The empty nest continually evolves. In the beginning is the anticipation of what it will mean to your family when the youngest leaves the nest for points unknown. We all eventually adjust to wherever they land: college, work, armed services, prolonged road trip. What happens afterwards is a reminder that our responsibilites as parents never ends; as our children evolve into young adults our parental role transforms as well.
Hopefully your child will find their first love at some point during their march towards adulthood. Seeing your “baby” in the throes of infatuation can at times be both sweet and unnerving. Suddenly, your role as the most significant person in their life is usurped and you are no longer the first person asked for advice. When you like the significant other, it can be wonderful to watch. If the opposite is true and you cringe every time you see the young couple together, you find yourself biting your tongue, wondering what to do. By opening your mouth, will it push the young couple even closer? Will saying nothing and hoping the relationship dies a natural death be a better option? Each family has to decide the best road to take and hope their decision leads everything to work out as it should.
No matter what, a broken heart is almost a definite on the road of life. The part we play as parents is a fragile one and a bad break up cannot be healed like a scratched knee. Our parental love and support is now the band aid. Our wisdom can hopefully give them perspective and help them understand that time is a wonderful healer and if they loved once, they will love again. They will find someone; the beauty of life is we don’t have a crystal ball to know where or when. Yes, they still need us even after the college cap and gown. We just have to adapt and modify who we were as parents to who we need to be.
">The Empty Nesters are excited to welcome Eric Yaverbaum, co-author with his 17 year old daughter Cole of “Life’s Little College Admissions Insights.” Join in the conversation on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010, 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.
Labels: broken heart, college, Empty Nest, love, parenting
Link: www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

Back to the Future III

2010-01-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

We have focused on all the positives winter break brings to the empty nest. Family bonding time along with vacations and special events/holidays shared remind us what it really means to be surrounded by those closest to us. Observing the maturation process our young adults have undergone up close rather than through email or text fills us with pride. As with everything in life, we must take the good with the not so good. When reality enters the equation, an extended visit home is not always sunshine and lollipops.

Generation Y’s distaste for long term scheduling drives us bonkers. We cannot count how many times we asked our college students about their plans for an evening…usually at 6PM at night…and heard a blunt, “I don’t know” (with an underlying “none of your business” tone). Ok then,..is dinner for 4 or 2 or 6 or 8? Or are you going out? Will you be home for dinner and then go out? Then there are the evenings you watch your favorite TV show together as a family…say 24 perhaps…and next thing you know they are outta the house at 10PM!

During senior year of high school we were accustomed to late bedtimes and very late wake ups. But we kind of forgot about it during fall semester. Then during the long winter break there is the 2-2 rule. Bed at 2AM and wake up at 2PM! We finish more than half a day of work by the time our little prince/princess rolls out of bed to grace us with their presence, all tousled hair and grouchy mood! With their body clocks upside down you can bet there is some serious stomach rumblings going on. It is important to have lots of snacks in the pantry so more trips than usual to the market are necessary.

Lets not forget the constant purr of the washing machine. Bet you never realized how many articles of clothing your son or daughter has. And then you remember, most of their wardrobes are back in the dorm. So how come the washer and dryer are in overdrives?

This generation rarely talks on the phone and there is the continual melodious sound of text messaging. In our day we took typing classes at school…today’s students must take thumb texting lessons. We thought our typing was fast, but we have never seen two digits of two hands move with such accuracy. Head down, cell phone in hand, two thumbs clicking is most definitely the symbol of this vacation!

As the last of winter breaks end this weekend and almost all students are finally back at school, we admit we’ll miss them terribly. But there is also the understanding that the empty nest affords us a freedom and independence we have not had in at long time. We love our kids and will always be their parents, but during the long break it truly hits you: they are, ever so slowly, growing into who they will be.

Claudia and Jill are excited to talk with “The Lavish Cheapskate” author Ardy Skinner, who will help us learn how to recession proof our lives! Join us at live at 11AM PT, Wednesday, January 20^th on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters .

Back to the Future II

2010-01-12T17:07:00.000-08:00

“It’s Complicated” is probably as good a description as any to describe what life in the empty nest feels like sometimes. The kids bounce in and out depending on their college or work vacations and household activity ebbs and flows in an ongoing rhythm.

One of the sweetest memories of the most recent break is the time spent as a nuclear family again. With everyone’s hectic schedules it is not often we have a lengthy dinner together, let alone do something fun. We were reminded how special it can be to spend time with just us and no significant others or friends or even extended family invited.

With the economy the way it is, finding fun activities for a diverse group of adults/young adults within budget can be a challenge. A vacation to a warm or cold climate for 4, 5, or 6 people can be very costly. Tickets to a basketball game (at least here in Los Angeles) can cost almost as much as a vacation. If you can do that, enjoy. Research on the internet can find free/low cost events or trips near your hometown. Scrabble can be fun. Charades is a hoot. Many video games appeal to everyone.

Taking the time to reboot as a family is what made this past break memorable. Getting to know each other again as a familial unit without outside pressure was priceless.

Best advice: make the commitment to spend quality time together when you can. Not too early to think about spring break!

The empty nesters interview Lisa Johnson Mandell, author of the newly released book "Career Comeback: Repackage Yourself to Get the Job You Want" on Wednesday January 13^th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

Back to the Future

2010-01-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

The empty nest was quite full for a few weeks, then as abruptly as it filled, it emptied again. We don’t know about you but we love the frenetic activity winter break brings. Holidays filled with celebrations are life affirming. The refrigerator had everyone’s favorite snacks, there is a seemingly permanent purr of the washing machine, the cobwebs mysteriously disappeared from the dvd player, and anxiety about late night comings and goings returned with a vengence.

School vacations are great reminders of how life at home used to be, with a twist of course. Imposing a curfew on a young adult who has spent the past four months without any restrictions can be complicated. The car is the great equalizer; most college students don’t have cars on campus and it is the parental right to monitor driving late night hours. Resourceful young adults have come up with a great way to resolve that concern: the return of the sleepover.

The most complicated part of holiday time is acknowledging the (hopefully) maturation process undergone in the months away from home. We don’t know what time they eat, when or even if they go to the library to study, who their friends are; colleges won’t even tell us their grades. This is a sore point with us and we have always felt since we pay the bills we should have access to grades! But we digress. The main point here is all of these decisions, big and small, help our kids develop a sense of responsibility without mom or dad whispering in their ear every minute. It really is a beautiful thing to see and it does happen. Each at their own pace.

Then as abruptly as break starts, it ends. Kids go back to school reinvigorated for the next quarter or semester. The house returns to its quiet, uncluttered place. Do we miss them? You betcha…but no worry; spring break is around the corner.

Join the Empty Eesters on Wednesday, 1/6 @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters and tell Claudia and Jill your holiday stories.

Turkey Time

2009-12-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

The Thanksgiving holiday plays a significant role in the life of an empty nester. From the simple celebrations of bounty gathered by pilgrims in the various colonies of the 1600s to the turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberries of today, Thanksgiving has been an opportunity for each American generation to give thanks for life’s blessings.

For an empty nester, it is often the first time in many months that the entire family gets to break bread together! Hopefully there is a lot to be thankful for and we anticipate this with much joy and repeatedly run the scenario over and over in our heads how wonderful family togetherness will be.

Reality was probably not the same as fantasy. Did your young adult spend a good part of the Thanksgiving meal texting on their cell phone, planning a rendezvous with high school friends the minute they could cut out of dinner? Ours did!

The truth be told, they like spending time with us but the lure of their peer group is so strong and this particular holiday is a short period of time to reconnect and share college adventures. So off they go to see their friends and there is a tinge of sadness and acceptance at how our parental roles have evolved.

Empty nesters can take heart that winter break is just around the corner with the promise of 3-5 weeks of family time. That’s a lot of family togetherness to plan.

Join Claudia and Jill on Wed., Dec 2 on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

The Bling Ring

2009-11-17T23:04:00.000-08:00

The Empty Nest syndrome refers to feelings of sadness experienced by parents after children leave their childhood homes. The truth be told, we have found the anticipation of the empty nest to be far worse than the reality and most people we have spoken to on the subject enjoy the freedom and quiet in the house. Who knew?

The Style Section in last Sunday’s New York Times (www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/fashion/15bling.html) had an article about a different kind of empty nest experience. Jewelry and clothing items were stolen from the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, and other celebrities. The suspects in the case? A group of 18 and 19 year old LA residents, four women and two men, who used popular celebrity web sites to determine when their victims would be attending events and out of their homes. One of the suspects was arrested on the set of her own reality show.

Think what you will but in a bizarre way, this was pretty creative. Too bad these creative impulses were not channeled in a more constructive direction.

We started wondering how the parents of these young adults must be feeling right now. We all try to raise our kids to be decent adults, hoping to teach them the values and tools necessary to make the right decisions. Los Angeles is a tough place to grow up. The haves do flaunt it here. Yet, is our culture so celebrity obsessed...hey we admit we need our weekly fix of Us and People…that the lines blur and we often want what we cannot have at any cost? Now the support needed will be payments to lawyers and appearances in court.

As parents of young adults the same age as the suspects in “The Bling Ring” we imagine that the families involved must be scratching their heads wondering what went wrong. At least we hope so. It is another reminder that even though our offspring have reached the age of adulthood, they still need parental guidance and our “job’ isn’t quite finished.

Join the empty nesters Wed, November 18th at 11:00AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when they learn how to take care of aging parents from Bonnie Davis, elder care advisor from A Place For Mom.

The First Cut Is The Deepest

2009-11-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

Reaching the stage of an empty nest means that you have been a parental unit for a long time. You watched your child grow through many different stages from infancy to young adult. Most of us are not well prepared for any milestone and we wing it as best we can with as much support as we can muster. One stage none of us is ever ready for is that of a broken heart.

Admittedly young love is one of the sweetest of emotions and raging hormones roar with gusto throughout high school and college age years. Recently announced sexual etiquette rules issued by Tufts University only serves to remind us of what goes on in many college dorm rooms. Sadly, and almost always, the passion of that first romance doesn’t last forever. Boys and girls become men and women and through that evolution the balance of a relationship can change imperceptibly, but enough to create a schism too wide to fix.

With the national divorce rate at 50%, who among us has not had a broken heart or two or three? Hopefully, we have grieved, healed, and moved on to find someone better suited to who we are. But we never forget our first true love and as Sheryl Crow says, the first cut is the deepest.

If our son or daughter shares their heartache with us, it is important to guide them through the stages of grief and help them understand that their life has only just begun. There will be love again. It may not come immediately but eventually they will pick themselves up, heal, and move on. In some cases parental love and support is not enough and outside help is necessary. We need to be on our toes and know when to step in. As our children continue on their journey towards independence, there is still an important role for us to play.

Join the empty nesters Wednesday, November 4^th at 11AMPT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when they talk to yoga instructor extraordinaire and new empty nester, Susan Wyler. YOGA ROCKS

The Sound of Music

2009-10-27T13:14:00.000-07:00

For the typical empty nester, the weekend is the time the house is most noticeably quiet. Weekdays are filled with routine: work, dry cleaners, meetings, business phone calls, banking; you know the drill.

Where every Saturday and Sunday was once filled with soccer, baseball, piano lessons and birthday parties (all of us at one time or another complained about those weekly celebrations, admit it!) the weekend of an empty nester requires more thought and planning. From the time your high schooler acquires their license, there is movement toward the new reality. Then come August/September, BOOM! It has arrived! And then there are welcome exceptions to it all. Expect the unexpected we always say.

Both of us spent the weekend with our college aged boys…how funny is that? Granted, both Claudia and Jill’s sons attend school less than 2 hours from home so a visit is fairly easy. Many parents don’t have that luxury…we both appreciate how fortunate (?) we are. In between attending a university reception and visiting her son’s apartment for the first time in over a year, Claudia has taken up the sport of golf. So in addition to being an avid sports fan, she has gotten in the game herself. A great example of how being in the empty nest opens up so many new possibilities. When Claudia announced her new hobby to a group of friends everyone shook their heads and said, “you go girl!” This is the perfect time to explore new interests, hobbies, and even consider a career change.

During Jill’s weekend, her home was literally filled with the sound of music as all 16 members of her son’s a cappella group took up residence for their annual retreat. In between rehearsing and harmonizing there was lots of eating, preparing, and talking; Jill enjoyed the moment of once again being included, no matter how temporary. It is those times you realize that you are always going to be needed in some way, it is just important to remain flexible and go with the flow. And in a true blast from the past, it was an opportunity to celebrate her son’s recent 20^th birthday with all his friends. Who says you can’t go home again?

Join Jill and Claudia for the October 27, 2009 show @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters, when they talk with Katrina Kenison, author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day. They also review the new buzzed about film, "Precious", staring Mo'Nique and an unrecognizable Mariah Carey. As always, if you cannot listen live every show is available 24/7 in the www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters archives or on itunes!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

2009-10-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

The empty nest is a description of a certain time of life but in reality we never ever stop being parents, no matter where are children are in their lives.

This past weekend was a perfect example of the complicated nature of our new parental identity. For many universities around the country, it was parent’s weekend, the time in fall (before the weather turns unbearably cold in most parts of the country) where first year college students introduce their families to campus life. It can be overwhelming ….vacuum cleaners and windex are not found in the average dorm room….but a great opportunity to observe how your son or daughter is adapting to their new environment. The various colleges put on a polished show, most likely with an eye towards future fund raising, and a good time is had by most!

The empty nesters did not have a parents weekend to attend but enjoyed their independence and traveled from the heat of Los Angeles to considerably colder points east; Claudia to Chicago and Jill to New York. Claudia celebrated her birthday in the windy city and watched USC defeat Notre Dame in a nail biter of a competition. Jill attended a mini high school reunion and visited with family and friends during a whirlwind of a weekend. Cell phones and Blackberrys meant Claudia and Jill were only a phone call, text or BBM away, if needed. The ease of communication has meant we often remain involved in the lives of our children wherever they may be. Whether this is a good or a bad thing will be determined in the future, but there is no doubt that these days the role of an empty nester is not easy to define.

Join the empty nesters Wednesday morning, Oct 21 @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when they talk with Dr. Rob DeStefano, author of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2009-10-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

The empty nest was the hot topic of conversation at a recent luncheon attended by 10 women in various stages of the nest. Many were new members of the “empty nesters club”, while others were old pros. One woman told us both her children are students in England and another guest had two married sons and grandchildren to spoil! Several were mothers of recent college graduates who moved back home after graduation.

Everyone admitted that for months leading up to the “big event,” they were emotional about the changes but within a few weeks adjusted quite well, thank you very much, to the new paradigm at home. The inability to walk past an empty bedroom without boxes of tissues was shortly followed by an AHA moment….those interesting classes at a local college were finally possible, new career or philanthropic ventures opened up, and the flexibility to travel more often were all positive outcomes. Renewing relationships with partners was another common theme.

By far the most important factor in being a successful empty nester: if our child is happy and content in their new environment we are happy and content! Another reminder that no matter what stage of life our sons or daughters find themselves, marriage, college, successful career we never stop being a mom or dad.

This transitional stage in life opens up many exciting possibilities for our children and us....they get to grow into adults away from our watchful eyes and while we miss our kids one of the life lessons we taught them that life goes on, surely applies to us as well.

Bottom line, the empty nest is not an end but a beginning of new possibilities for everyone.

Join the empty nesters on Wednesday, October 14 @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when we talk with LA Times national correspondent Robin Abcarian to hear the stories behind the stories.

Falling Leaves and the Empty Nest

2009-09-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

As the heat of summer begins to fade (except here in Southern California where Santa Anas are driving temperatures into triple digits) and fall is officially here, most empty nest parents have started to adjust to their oddly quiet homes.

There are exceptions, of course. If your birthday falls between the beginning of school and Thanksgiving, it feels weird not to have your son or daughter around to celebrate. Granted, the past few years they have probably left to join friends as soon as the last bite of dessert is consumed at the celebratory dinner…but their absence is conspicuous.

The Fall TV season is a big reminder that someone is missing from the home. Some shows were family favorites and it feels strange to watch Grey’s Anatomy or 24 with a familiar body absent from the room. After awhile you do get used to the change… but even after a few years of empty nesting, once in awhile some pangs still find their way into the heart.

In the Jewish faith, this time of year is known as the High Holidays. It is the New Year on the Jewish calendar (5770 to be exact) and a time for reflection leading up to the day of repentance, Yom Kippur. After many years of dinners and religious observances together as a family, there is a real void at home. You cannot help but wonder how much, if any, family traditions are brought to college and what new rituals may become important.

This transitional process is ongoing through the year but especially strong during this season. As we have said before the four years of college bring changes to everyone in the family and all of us should expect the unexpected.

Have any sleep issues during this empty nest transition? Join Claudia and Jill tomorrow morning, 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters where their special guest will be sleep expert Michael Breus, Phd.

No Lies, No Insults, No Threats

2009-09-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

September is the month it sinks in that we really are empty nesters. Most college students (at least those on semester schedules) are settled into their new surroundings and by mid-month the reality of the transition hits like a ton of bricks. Our “babies” are developing new lives, friends, and interests away from the warm cocoon of home. Going forward, where do we fit in their lives?

It makes us wonder what young adults thought about the events of this past week, if at all, and whether their response might have been different if they were home.

Firstly, a United States Congressman interrupted the President of the United States during a speech to a joint session of Congress on national TV.

Secondly during her semifinal match at the US Open, Serena Williams objected to a foot fault call by a linesperson and physically threatened the poor woman, again on national TV for all to see.

Then Kanye West spontaneously interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV awards because he thought Beyonce should have won. As classless as Kanye was, that is how much class Beyonce and Taylor showed later in the show.

In each case the person eventually apologized. Sincere or hand in the cookie jar? Your guess is as good as ours. We would hope each apology was heartfelt. What if your young adult child behaved with an equally troublesome lack of civility? Would you stand back and encourage them to take responsibility for their own actions, would you force them to “do the right thing,” or would you ignore the situation altogether? As this school year progresses our role as parents continues to evolve and be redefined. Who said being an empty nester was easy? Join the conversation on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters @ 11AM PT every Wednesday!

Insomnia and the Empty Nest

2009-08-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

As Claudia and Jill have discussed these past 18 months, the empty nest lets loose a wide variety of emotions. Each and every parent copes with this transition in their own way. One of the more common shared experiences is the very unwelcome onset of insomnia, especially among women.

We cannot tell you how many of our friends grumble about not being able to sleep through the night. Our Facebook contacts often make their postings at 3AM searching for other sleep deprived co-horts! In all likelihood the onset of the empty nest is not the only reason for sleep issues; the age we find ourselves when our children leave home is probably a huge culprit!

Sleep deprivation is one of those conditions tht can drive you slightly bonkers. Whether it is a nightly two hour routine to simply fall asleep or a 3AM rude awakening that leads hours of tossing, turning, and freaking that you will be a basket case for your 9AM meeting, insomnia is torture. It is especially unnerving if you have been a relatively good sleeper for most of your life. A few weeks of sleepless nights and your ability to function during the day is severely compromised.

According to Michael Sateia, co-author of AASM insomnia guidelines and Chief of Sleep Medicine at Dartmouth, “almost everyone who walks the face of the earth will have at least a transient period of sleep disturbance at some point in their lives.” So what do we do?

Sleep research grew exponentially in the latter half of the 20^th century and there are many many options. It is important to try and explore the cause of the insomnia with your personal physician. However, there are some basic common sense approaches for relief: no caffeine or chocolate 3 hours before bedtime, no computer or TV before going to bed, read something mindless so your head won’t be spinning, try yoga or relaxation before hitting the pillow. Many more suggestions can be found on the internet.

Join us this Wednesday, 9/2, at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters, when we will talk to Dr. Michael Breus, PhD, author of The Sleep Doctor’s 4 Week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health and and ask him his suggestions for saying bye bye to those unwelcome sleepless nights.

Let's Talk About Sex...and other women's health issues

2009-08-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

The empty house can mean only one thing right: unbridled passion in every room! Sadly, reality and fantasy don’t always mix. Life, routine, work, often get in the way of freedoms we should be embracing with passion. If like us, your children attend college in close proximity to home, they return home more often and the spontaneity you thought would be part of everyday life is an elusive goal. For many, summer is a countdown to the peace, quiet, and PRIVACY the resumption of school brings

Last week’s guest Alysa Waldholz, MA indicated that the empty nest raises all kinds of issues and questions for adult parents. As our children taste the fruits of true independence we too are in a transitional period where we need to figure out who we want to be in this next stage of our lives. Do we want to chuck it all and move to Paris and be a writer? Now that being team parent is no longer part of our schedule, is it time to attend that graduate school program we have been dreaming about? And the most difficult question of all: do I still love my partner, or are we strangers after all these years?

There are also health concerns we may have avoided all the years we focused on making sure our kids had their annual physicals. One of the issues not getting a lot of play in the health care debate is preventive care; so crucial to avoiding more serious medical intervention. The empty nest is as good a time as any to focus on OUR health needs. Have exercise and healthy eating been part our lives? Diabetes, hypertension, heart disease are at epidemic proportions in our country, especially among women….what steps can we take to assure we are able to embrace every aspect of this next stage of life in good health, vigorous sex life included!

Join us on Wednesday morning, August 26, @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters as we welcome Dr. Marie Sevard, M.D., health care contributor on Good Morning America and author of Ask Dr. Marie: Straight Talk and Reassuring Answers to Your Most Private Questions.

Never Can Say Goodbye?

2009-08-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

Preparing your college freshman for the big move may seem like a daunting task. There are so many details that require attention. Shopping trips to purchase towels, toiletries, a caddie to transport them from dorm room to bathroom, and the all important flip flops to minimize the germ potential in the common showers. We are pretty sure the XL sheets common on every college campus are not part of your personal linen collection either!

This adds to the stress factor of move in day where on many campuses thousands of students are moved into their residence halls in 20 minute intervals. Trust us, these campuses know what they are doing and it all goes fairly smoothly.

We encourage you to take a deep breath and be ready for the changes to your home and the new family dynamic which will emerge.

Two of our children have graduated from college and we are now at the other end of that journey. Just as much adjustment is required over on this side.

The current economic crisis means more young college graduates don’t have the financial resources to move into their own apartment. So the freshman who so excitedly moved out four years ago is BACK, for who knows how long. However they have lived semi-independently all this time so get ready for another paradigm shift in your home. Now they are adults and different parenting skills are required. The first thought that comes to mind is what kind of financial arrangement is appropriate? Is it acceptable for a 23 year old to have a curfew while living in your home? Who pays any medical bills…and do they even have health insurance, since you can no longer include them in your family plan. Parenting an adult child requires different skills and joining the Empty Nesters on Wed. the 19^{th @}11AM PT on www.blogtalkrdio.com/emptynesters will be Elysa Waldholz, M.A, creator of Life After Nest, an intimate small group offering guidance to parents with an “empty nest” and defining skills needed to parent adult children.

Empty Nesters Need Health Care Too

2009-07-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

All this debate about health care reform has us soooo confused...and Jill's husband is a physician! One of the reasons we will be speaking with Dr. Len on our July 29th show is to try to make sense out of all the heated debate going on in Congress and the media.

The reality is, at this stage in our lives, most of us have had an illness or two and we see health care providers far more often than we did when we were younger. Having health insurance is crucial to those of us in the baby boom generation. Many with employer provided health insurance stay in dead end jobs out of fear of losing coverage. Others who purchase individual policies worry about being one disease away from losing insurance altogether. We have all watched premiums rise and benefits decrease year after year. And forget about it if you have a pre-existing condition. The emotional and financial costs are unsustainable.

“According to a recent Kaiser Family Foundation survey needed medical care led insured individuals to cut back on care due to cost. Responses included postponing care (34%), skipping a recommended medical visit or treatment (30%), not filling prescriptions (27%), and skipping doses or cutting pills (21%).”

Those are the insured. What happens the unfortunate 47 million uninsured who get sick? Many say the US has the best health care system in the world but the World Health Organization gives that honor to France (a country with universal care) and ranks the US at #37, below Costa Rica and above Slovenia. The ugly truth is our health care system is dysfunctional and people are going without care because they cannot afford it. What do we have to do to spend our dollars more wisely?

Hopefully Dr. Len will be able to answer some of our questions on this Wednesday's show @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters. We will be happy to post his answers on future blogs.

Expect the Unexpected

2009-06-29T16:22:00.000-07:00

Both our households have undergone huge paradigm shifts since our last blog entry. For Claudia, her daughter graduated from college, a marvelous accomplishment Kudos to Claudia’s daughter for doing it all and doing it well in four years!

For Jill, her daughter returned home from her first year of Rabbinic school in Israel and got engaged to her longtime boyfriend. The happy couple plans to marry next year so Jill and her daughter are consumed with the many intricate details associated with planning a beautiful and meaningful wedding.

For the class of ’09, now comes the real challenge. After 16 years of mapping and planning…elementary school, middle school, high school, university… parents must step back even further (not completely away) and allow their young adults to determine the next move. Will it be a job or graduate school? Do they travel during the summer and buckle down in the fall to look for a job? Do they live at home to save money or live on their own? These are only some of the questions flying around the homes of every Class of ’09 graduate. Perhaps not in homes where the young adults have already chosen their career paths and will be starting med school or law school in Fall ’09. With today’s economic downturn affecting so many household decisions, it is more complicated for this generation to continue the road to independence. However, it also is a time in their lives where they can take risks and experiment. For us parents who thought we had our it all figured out after they left for college: surprise, surprise our roles have morphed once again!

Jill’s daughter is three years post college graduation and her family has lived through the post graduation conversation. Her daughter chose to live and work away from home for two "gap years" while preparing for graduate school. After one year of school out of the country she is back in LA for the remaining four years of study. For the time being she and her fiancé are living in Jill’s home….so the nest is very full! It is a bit chaotic, but it also is a time of great joy and love and probably the last time the entire family will live together But who knows???

As this journey continues we have learned to .…expect the unexpected!

On the Road Again

2009-04-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

The Empty Nesters have been on hiatus for a couple of weeks observing the time honored ritual of Spring Break. Jill was able to visit her daughter who is in graduate school overseas. As regular listeners of the show know, the graduate program requires one year of study in another country.
It seems like only yesterday that we spent time planning for the move abroad, figuring out the logistics and emotions involved. January saw a return home for Winter Break and an opportunity for said daughter to be a guest on the radio show talking about life and study in a foreign country.
And here it is, almost a full year later, and the preparations have begun for the return to the nest. Logistics and emotions are front and center once again. Claudia will be traveling next week, a trip alone with the husband before the darling daughter graduates college in June and moves back home. We have learned that this stage, like most of parenting, is transitory and evolving. When the daughters return home they will be young adults who have lived on their own for at least the four years of college. We too have adjusted to a new lifestyle. The new chapter will be an adjustment for all of us.
The Empty Nesters radio show has given us a platform to explore topics germaine to our lifestyle. We are learning from our guests and from our audience. We welcome your calls and comments as this is a shared journey. In the next few weeks we have some interesting guests joining us. Peter Walsh, Oprah's organizing guru, will discuss clutter, both emotional and physical. Another one of Oprah's friends, Charla Krupp, will discuss her book How Not to Look Old. We hope to have a Los Angeles based therapist who runs "Empty Nest" support groups
speak to us soon. There are a myriad of topics we would love to explore together with you.
Join our Facebook group to keep in touch.

Beware the Letters of March

2009-03-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

To parents of hight school seniors, the middle of March means only one thing...Dum da dum dum....those pesky college thumbs up/thumbs down letters will soon be appearing in the email or snail mail box nearest you!!! You senior has most probably checked out and the flurry of activity between now and when the final decision is due on May 1 will lead your student back to business.

Those 12 years of hard work have reached the moment of truth and you will finally discover if have you been a good parent or bad parent: Berkeley or Yale... good, Arizona or SMC... bad.

Now wait just a minute...if the past few years have taught the Empty Nesters anything, it is that those assumptions are bull! Of course if your senior is accepted to Yale you should be very proud of their accomplishment. However, if an Ivy League education is not in your child's future, there is no need to throw your hands up in despair. There are many schools outside of the New York to Massachusetts corridor that offer fabulous, well rounded educations. The most important part of this process...that we repeat ad nauseam...is for your child to be in the collegial setting right for them. One hour or six hours from home, ivy league or schmivy league doesn't matter because what really matters is what is right for YOUR CHILD.

Hopefully, your almost college student will have many choices. Much has been written about the ripple effect the economic meltdown will have on this year's acceptances. Many private colleges will be over accepting and offering more financial aid to make sure they achieve their "desired yields." Some public schools (especially here in financially insolvent California) are planning to limit enrollment. So rules that have existed up to now will be thrown out the window and the only certainty is uncertainty.

College is as much about the best possible education as well as a successful and smart social life. After a secondary education that included upwards of 35 hours a week of classroom time before after school activities, the average 15 hours a week class time in college can be a shock to the system. That leaves a lot of time for individual choices...from clubs to student government to parties and sex. Those choices are at the core of what makes the college experience special and scary for everyone: parents, students, and educators. Will your child be mature enough to take the smart fork in the road most of the time (few people make good choices 100% of the time) or will they choose the road that leads to a 1.0 GPA?

The most important advice is to know your child. Some are not meant to be 3,000 miles away from home and that is ok!!! For others, two years in a community college is a fantastic opportunity to mature, develop good study skills and then transfer to a Berkeley or UCLA or SUNY @ Albany. Others will thrive in a new environment and find the independence they never would have discovered if they didn't repeatedly get stranded in bad weather at O'Hare. The most important piece of this puzzle is what they do with this gift of higher education, wherever it may be.

As parents we have worked tirelessly to give our children the tools to fly. Now is their time to take flight and it is important to remember they will still need our help, both financial and otherwise for a long time. Opening the letters and making the big decision is just the first step in their take off towards adulthood. Please remember, whatever decision is made on May 1st is not written in stone. Transferring is not an anamoly and certainly a viable option if the university you thought was the best thing since sliced bread turns out to be a stale bagel!

So take a deep breath as you enter this runway with your high school senior. We've learned most freshmen are happy with their choices. If they aren't and you observe problems, trust your instincts and be proactive. Our role as involved parents doesn't end, it just evolves. We are not going the way of the dinosaur just yet.

Good luck. The next few months will be quite a ride.

Denial is Not Just A River in Egypt

2009-03-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

We spent quite a bit of time on Wednesday's show taking about The Bachelor but Jason's behavior was not the only upsetting male action of late.

What do you say to your daughter or son when a major female pop star gets the crap beat out of her by her young pop star boyfriend and takes him back a month later. Not really much time for an anger management class to have an effect, you think? In another type of questionable conduct, The Bachelor Jason proposed to Melissa Monday night and then proceeded to publicly dump her the next night...for runner up Molly. And after maybe one minute of introspection, Molly took him back and sucked face with him on national TV. Honey watch your back... be very careful of Mr. Fickle Pickle!

Okay, we admit we only know these young people from their media image. And you know what everyone says about the media. But we are media too and we shoot from the hip whenever we talk. The truth is we have never met Chris Brown or Jason Mesnick so we cannot say for sure if they are truly jerks or only appear that way.

The concern is that Rhianna and Molly may adversely influence millions of their contemporaries by publicly accepting sketchy behavior without consequences. That message in this day and age doesn't bode well for our sons or daughters.

We have been married to our respective husbands for a combined total of 60 years and neither spouse has ever laid a hand on us in anger. We have taught our kids that if any one ever lays a hand on them they should run, not walk to the nearest exit. Simply unacceptable. Period, end of story. That type of behavior takes time to work through and the person responsible has to want to change

Listening to Bachelor Jason talk about integrity...puhlease. Integrity, schmegrity. He shouldn't have proposed in the first place. But for Miss Molly to fall into his arms without seeming to have any second thoughts after he threw Melissa under the bus was even more disappointing. She validated his actions without missing a beat.

These two separate events simply remind the empty nesters how little control we have over relationship choices our sons and daughters make. Affairs of the heart are so complicated and the painful reality is our kids must learn from their mistakes. Our role is to be there to help them pick up the pieces. Hopefully, their errors in judgment remain private and don't wind up splashed on the pages of People magazine.

Who Turned Out the Lights ?

2009-03-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

Another opportunity to quote one of Jill's favorite sayings, "Man plans and God laughs." The Empty Nesters gathered together with friends last Sunday to participate in the time honored ritual that is the viewing of the Academy Awards Show, complete with red carpet coverage and dishing about how beautiful (or not) the stars looked. This year was especially exciting as we had spent a few days at the Kodak Theater reporting for the radio show. We were up close and personal with the really big Oscar statue.
(Can't really call a towering gold naked man a statuette). Our press passes, Oscar show posters and photos were proudly displayed for all to admire. We were charmed by Hugh Jackman, inspired by the tributes given by past honorees to current nominated actors, and quite pleased as our predictions were becoming realities, when the powers that be (Department of Water and Power ? a Higher Authority ?) sent a electrical surge and bam- the lights went out. Total blackout- no big screen HDTV, no Internet access. Nada. Just a transistor radio by candlelight. ( This channeling of Abe Lincoln is going too far) The guests waited a polite few minutes hoping the power would be restored and then made a hasty retreat to their light filled homes and Tivo'd recordings. Yes- the best laid plans do often go astray.

We were able to recap and breakdown the Oscar show with guest Jason O'Brien of Blog Talk Radio's Oscar Oscar show. Jason is a filmmaker himself and really knows the industry.
T.V. Guide writer Damian Holbrook will join us on Wednesday, March 11th
Join the conversation live at 11:00 a.m. PST.

Eating Healthy With Oscar

2009-02-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

Claudia braved the chilly LA morning air and Jill wo-manned the switchboard. Claudia reported on the building Oscar excitement at Hollywood's Kodak Theater, home of the Academy Awards. Closed off street traffic enabled workers to prepare the necessary staging, red carpet area, and the huge Oscar statue, turning the usual bustling Hollywood Blvd into a TV set all on its own. Dr. John La Puma, ChefMD, visited with the ladies this morning. Dr. La Puma is an internist/chef whose latest book, Chef MD's Big Book of Culinary Medicine, is full of healthy recipes and describes culinary medicine for 40 common health conditions. He is also a founder of Chef Clinic http://www.chefclinic.com/ and Gluten Free Quiz http://www.blogger.com/www.glutenfreequiz.com. We discussed Sunday's upcoming Oscar ceremony and our personal honoree choices. Predictions: Best Actor: Sean Penn, Best Actress: Kate Winslet, Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire Join us next Wednesday to see how we fared!

Remind Me

2009-02-09T22:07:00.000-08:00

The noise in the house is different. Okay, there really are no noises. The intermittent dog barking doesn't count or make up for the fact that the 2,3,4, or in Ms. Suleman's case, 14 (granted she is very very far from being an empty nester) souls who added life and tumult to your home are gone creating their unique noises somewhere else. Surprisingly, that is ok.

But sometimes we act like a voyeur and look into other people's homes via the TV or internet. Watching some of the ABC Family lineup of shows can lead us back to days past: "The Secret Life of An American Teenager" and toward days present "Greek."

One of the stars of "Secret Life" went to school with our kids. Another star, Molly Ringwald (the mom of the show) was the personification of teen uncertainty in a string of John Hughes high school flicks in the 80s. If you haven't heard of or watched the show, it deals with some very serious issues: 15 year old "good girl" Amy goes to band camp (what is it about band camp?) and loses her virginity to "bad boy" Ricky. Doesn't take a genius to figure out the consequences of one bad decision! The show has gotten its groove on during the second season, dealing with real life teen issues in a mostly thoughtful way. The acting is at times uneven and thank goodness the gravity of the situation is interspersed with some humor. The public service announcements at the end of each show serves to remind parents that while sex is incredibly awkward to discuss with our kids, it is important to make sure we are part of the conversation.

"Greek" is much lighter in tone and brings back memories of campus life for both independent and affiliated students. It serves as a small window into the experiences many of our children are having right now. The show is more funny than insightful and has an attractive and talented cast. While life at fictional CRU may not be an exact replica of your child's college life (the dorm rooms are so huge), it is close enough.

The empty nest journey continues to be filled with surprises; it sure is comforting to know we are not alone. If and when we want to search, there are many reminders out there of where we were, where we are, and hopefully, where we may be headed.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone.

Of Books and Other Things

2009-01-28T13:47:00.000-08:00

Another sunny day in Los Angeles, another broadcast of the Empty Nesters Show where we explore the journey that is life. Today we were joined by Kelly Corrigan, author of the New York Times best seller The Middle Place. Kelly's memoir was profiled in the January issue of O, the Oprah Magazine. You may have seen Kelly reading her essay "Transcending: Words on Women and Strength" on You Tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q
Her moving tome is about the time in life where one is caught between childhood and adulthood, still needing the sense of support from parents, while taking responsibility for children of one's own.
Kelly has been a book group favorite. Our own book group has been together for nearly ten years. Today we recommended the book The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian paired with the American classic,
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. We've been busy at the movies recently viewing Defiance, Waltz with Bashir and Rachel Getting Married. All recommended for our audience, but maybe it's time for some lighter fare like the upcoming He's Just Not That Into You. Super Bowl Sunday is just a few days away. Neither of us has a team in the game, but the halftime entertainment, Mr. Springsteen, The Boss himself, is reason to watch. We pondered over how the highly anticipated commercials will play out in the current economic climate.
Exciting guests coming up in February to coincide with Heart Month- a world class cardiologist from Cedars Sinai Medical Center and Dr. John La Puma, Chef MD, and author of The Big Book of Culinary Medicine.
Join us live on Wednesdays at 11:00 a.m. PST or listen to the archived shows at your convenience. As always, your comments are most appreciated.
www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

Let the Sun Shine In

2009-01-17T15:16:00.000-08:00

As our listeners are aware, we broadcast The Empty Nesters show from Los Angeles. While we appreciate our locale most of the time, this past week has been a reminder of the goodness that is Southern California. Most of the country has been in the deep freeze with daytime temperatures hovering around the zero degree mark, and here we are basking in the eighty degree sunshine. This glorious weather reminds Jill of why she and her husband migrated here and Claudia thanks her parents for having had the good sense to find L.A. and each other in the early fifties.
We had the great pleasure to welcome back fabulous guest Damian Holbrook, Senior Writer for T.V. Guide Magazine. We dished about the premiers of American Idol and 24. Lost will be starting the new season shortly, but sadly Lipstick Jungle won't be continuing. And what is going on with Grey's Anatomy ? The Golden Globe awards show gave us plenty to talk about- Spielberg, Renee, Kate, Mickey, Anna and the list goes on. We hope Damian visits us often.
Next week's show comes on the heels of the Presidential Inauguration. We will be speaking with a couple of "twenty-something" corespondents on the scene in Washington D.C. Also, we expect a visit from Jill's daughter, home on semester break from graduate studies abroad.
For any Southern Californian's- Dave Romanelli of Yeah Dave Yoga, a guest from last summer, will be featured at the Ojai Valley Inn's Arts & Leisure Series February 27-28, 2009 with a yoga and chocolate event.
(805) 646-1111 for more information.
Next broadcast- Wednesday ,January 21st 11:00 a.m. PST
www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

New Year, New Music

2009-01-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

As the title suggests, we welcomed 2009 with a brand new theme song, composed uniquely for us. We love its rock and roll edge!
The first show of the new year featured Paula Begoun, the Cosmetics Cop, and author of several bestselling books including Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me. Paula provided a trove of information about skin care products- myths and facts - to help us sort through the claims made by the various companies. She tests and rates hundreds of products and breaks it all down for us on her website. The link is posted in the list at the right.
On the personal side, three of our four kids are back in school and the fourth is due home for semester break from her graduate studies abroad.We plan to have her join us on the show to discuss studying abroad, especially in a country currently at war.
Next week's show will feature the return of a favorite guest, Damain Holbrook, Senior Writer for T.V. Guide Magazine. We have much to talk about with the January return of popular shows such as 24, American Idol, Damages and Lost to name but a few.
As always, we welcome you to join us on the air on Wednesdays at 11:00 a.m. PST or with your comments here or on the Blog Talk Radio pages.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters

Farewell 2008

2008-12-17T12:16:00.000-08:00

'Hard to believe 2008 is nearly over. It's been a year of, to quote our theme song and our future President, changes. We began our Blog Talk Radio show in February with some 15 minute segments, soon expanding to 30 minutes and inviting guests onto the show. As we developed our rhythm, we're now broadcasting for a full hour. Our guests this year have been varied- authors and doctors, fashion consultants and yoga teachers, entrepreneurs and volunteers - all hoping to make the world a better place. Our personal nests have emptied and filled up again. We've said hello and goodbye to our loved ones countless times. We will delight in the spirit of the holidays with our family and friends and know we are blessed to be able to do so.

Today's guest was Sara Simmons of http://www.cellkeeper.com/ The Cellkeeper is a fashionable and practical multifunctional solution to carry the cell phone, i pod, digital camera etc. Check out the website. It's not too late to order for holiday gifts.

Movies to recommend: "Revolutionary Road" starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. A well crafted drama about a troubled suburban couple set in the mid 1950s. Another excellent performance of a complicated woman by Kate Winslet. DiCaprio is also convincing in his portrayal of a conflicted father and husband. Also recommended- "Frost/Nixon" with Frank Langella and Michael Sheen. Ron Howard directed this adaptation of the stage play about David Frost's television interview of former President Richard Nixon. Both dramas for the thinking person.

We will be taking off a couple of weeks for the holidays and will return on January 7, 2009. The first guest of the new year will be Paula Begoun, the Cosmetic Cop. http://www.cosmeticscop.com/ .You may have seen her on Oprah 's show. We'll talk about what products work and what is a waste of time and money.

We wish all of you a joyous holiday season and a happy and healthy new year filled with friends, family, good food and spirit.

We hope you can join us live at 11:00 PST on Wednesdays

www.Blogtalkradio.com/Emptynesters

Until 2009...

Diets, Daphne, December and Dilemmas

2008-12-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

December in Los Angeles. We've cooled down to 68 degrees and that's fine by us. The kids have come and gone from their Thanksgiving holidays. Final exams are on the horizon, then they'll be home again soon for a more extended Winter Break. We transition from being Empty Nesters back to the more familiar parenting roles, although the players have changed. The "kids" have lived on their own for nearly a semester and have grown used to the freedom and independence that college provides. We delight in their growth and yet we are faced with new dilemmas of balancing family time with their desires to see old friends. Even planning a family vacation is not as simple as it once was.

We welcomed Daphne Oz to the show today. Daphne is the daughter of Dr. Mehmet Oz and is the author of The Dorm Room Diet- the 8 Step Program for Creating a Healthy Lifestyle Plan That Really Works. Daphne's book encourages young adults to use their newfound independence to create a healthy lifestyle while in college and for the rest of their lives. Her book is available at Amazon and other fine book sellers.

A couple of fine movies to recommend : "Australia" starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" with Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.

Thanksgiving dinner wrap-up: we have much to be thankful for- family, friends, health to name a few. In the spirit of sharing, we'd like to share

Claudia's Pumpkin Bread recipe. It's sure to become a family favorite

(it's been one of ours since the mid 60's)

3 1/3 cups flour

2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp ground cloves

3 cups sugar

1 cup oil

4 eggs

2/3 cup water

1 can (15 oz) pumpkin

Mix all ingredients in large bowl. Pour into oiled and floured pans. Bake 350 degrees approximately 50 minutes. Makes 5 mini loaves or 2 regular loaves.

Next week we'll be joined by an old friend, Carolyn Blashek, founder of Operation Gratitude- an all volunteer, non profit organization that sends care packages to military troops. http://www.opgratitude.com/. Operation Gratitude will soon be sending its 400,000th package to troops overseas.

We hope you can join us live at 11:00 PST next Wednesday

www.Blogtalkradio.com/Emptynesters

Turkey Time

2008-11-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

Turkey time is finally here For many families, the extended weekend is the first time freshman students have come home since the big move in August or September. Many families are filled with anticipation and excitement. Do we expect too much? Does life return to how it was before TBMI (the big move in). Will your beloved college freshman walk in the door and find their bedroom turned into a spa? And more importantly, who will be joining you at the Thanksgiving table, certainly not the high schooler you left on campus in the fall.

The young adult walking through the door is no longer used to having a curfew and new rules must be developed during vacations. He or she has learned to keep their own hours and do homework at different times of day and night. They have been responsible for getting to class on time. Meal hours are pre determined in college dorms and if time isn't managed well, campus dining commons won't keep kitchens open like we do at home. Bottom line, in the past few months most of our kids have had to grow up. Thanksgiving is the first time many of us see the profound changes the college experience brings. This particular weekend visit is only the beginning of the maturation process.

Admittedly, nostalgia abounds for the high schooler who left us. It is nice to be needed. But it is delightful getting to know this new person as he or she begins learning how to make life choices for themselves. Sometimes they mess up, but haven't we all and isn't that the best way to learn? The important part is that we as parents have tried to give them the tools to be confident enough to take risks and more forward. And college is still a safety net...they are on their own, but know we have their backs if they fall. After college graduation...well, that is for another time. For now, enjoy the holidays with your families and don't be surprised by the slightly different person at your table!

Please join us for tomorrow's show @ www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters
where we will talk a little turkey, review the film "Milk," and interview Kathryn Finney, The Budget Fashionista www.thebudgetfashionista.com.
!

Empty Nest, really?

2008-11-17T16:29:00.000-08:00

While we have been talking about the changes in our lives during this period of transition, the reality has been a bit different. 3 out of 4 of our kids attend college in the same city less than 2 hours from our homes in LA (the 4th is studying abroad for the year). That means a little less empty nest and a little more of frequent visits home for one reason or another. Don't get us wrong, we love those visits and don't even mind throwing the few extra dirty clothes in the wash. And yet every time we wonder when will it really sink in that our young adults have left the warmth and comfort of their base, there is an article about how this particular generation of students is moving back with their parents in greater and greater numbers. There are many reasons for this, the current economic slump being only one of many. Could it be that our precious kids miss us as much as we miss them? Of course they would never admit it. Just wondering!

And please, share your empty nesting experiences with us. How has life changed since you entered the ever widening group of parents known as empty nesters?

Join us live this Wednesday, 11/19, at 11AM PST, in the www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters archives or itunes at your convenience. We will have 2 guests this week: Dr. Beth DuPree and Claire Callaway from In the Trenches, an entertainment web network for women over 40.

You Should Be Dancing..Yeah

2008-09-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

There are now two official Empty Nesters in the house. Jill moved her son into his college dorm last weekend amongst the other 2,000 freshmen on campus."Organized chaos" would describe the process well. Anxiety and excitement fill the hearts of students and parents alike. Fall has officially begun and in most places in the country (our home base of California being an exception) the weather has started to change. This is the time that we frequently see as the new year. The school year cycle really stays with us.
As Empty Nesters we reevaluate ourselves and how our lives and roles have shifted. We hope to have a few guests on the show that have transitioned into new (and successful) careers.
On a lighter note we explored the likeability and popularity of "Dancing with the Stars". How we would love to be able to move a fraction as well as some of the contestants, including 82 year old Cloris Leachman. The athletes seem to have an edge- think of past winners Emmitt Smith, Helio
Castroneves, Apollo Ono and Kristi Yamaguchi. Maybe ballroom dancing lessons are in our future.
Segueing into adult activities (I mean cultural- not what you may be thinking!!!) Saturday, September 27th is Free Museum Day around the country. Visit Smithsonianmag.com to download a Museum Card for free admission to hundreds of museums around the country. Other favorite activities and deals- Loehman's is offering a 15% discount on September 25th with a $5.00 donation to Ovarian Cancer Research and Coldstone Creamery is offering a free cone on Thursday between 5 and 8 p.m. with all donations benefiting Make a Wish Foundation. Shopping & ice cream to benefit mankind- talk about a win-win. 'Saw a charming movie "Ghostown"- a romantic comedy aimed at a mature audience.
The Empty Nesters will not broadcast October 1st. Please join us in 2 weeks- on the 8th for more conversation. You can drop us a line at Emptynestersradio@gmail.com . Your comments are always welcome.

Must See T.V.

2008-09-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Empty Nesters welcomed special guest Damian Holbrook, Senior Writer for TV Guide to discuss the fall television season. Post-writers strike the press has not had a chance to preview many of the new shows. Damian had an opportunity to see Fringe, the new J.J. Abrams show. "Gross, but intriguing." A couple of CBS shows that look promising- Worst Week - sort of a Meet the Parents, The Ex
List starring Elizabeth Reaser (formerly Ava on Grey's) and Simon Baker's new project, The Mentalist. The Empty Nesters (among many) would love to see Simon Baker have a hit. Grey's Anatomy returns with Mer and Der together and hopefully angst free. Rumors abound about the possible return of Denny. Erica & Callie's relationship will be explored further. Guilty pleasures- hands down favorite is Gossip Girl on the CW network. Great chemistry between Chuck and Blair- great New York City location. The new 90210 is definitely "making it its own." 'Can't wait to see Susan Lucci on Dancing with the Stars. Looks like the greatest invention known to man- the DVR- is going to get a workout. (okay- the wheel and internal combustion engine might rank higher) We hope to have Damian on the show on a more regular basis.

On a personal note- Jill will be a true "empty nester" as of next week's show. Her youngest child will be moving into his college dorm this weekend and Jill and her husband will make the pilgrimage back home with their hearts full of mixed emotions. We wish her and her her family an easy transition.

As always, we welcome your comments and hope you join us on Wednesdays at 11:00 a.m. PDT or catch us archived on
http://blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters or on I Tunes.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

2008-09-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Empty Nesters were joined by Randy Gordon, President of RPG and Company and a Los Angeles based auto broker. Ms. Gordon is herself an Empty Nester. As an auto broker she takes all of the "hassle" out of the car buying process. As we "shift" into a new phase of our lives our auto needs also change. We are no longer carpooling to school and extra cirriculars. Changing lifestyle, rising fuel costs and a level of concern for the environment has caused us to examine our car choices carefully. Sales trends are to smaller more efficient cars- Toyota Prius and Corolla and BMW's Mini Cooper to name a few. Many car companies have practically eliminated lease financing- a casualty of the fallout of the SUV market.
Ms. Gordon gave us some "fuel for thought"
She can be contacted at Randy@RPGandCompany

Show Notes:
Remember you can take us with you on your I pod. We can be located in the I tunes Store with a search for "Empty Nesters" Plug for Apple- new, colorful Nano and a price drop too!!

Next week (September 17th) we will talk about the upcoming TV Season with TV Guide Senior Writer Damian Holbrook.

Hope you can join us!!!

So Much to Say, So Little Time

2008-08-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Due to an unexpected scheduling snafu, today's show was only fifteen minutes in length. The Empty Nesters were joined by Dr. Len Fromer, a Los Angeles based Family Medicine Physician. Dr. Fromer is a past President of the California Association of Family Physicians and an Associate Professor of Family Medicine at UCLA. The topic of discussion was navigating the healthcare system, which has become increasingly more difficult for patients and doctors alike. With many questions arising concerning managed care, it was a shame to have to cut the conversation short. The Empty Nesters hope to have Dr. Len come back soon.
As we approach the dog days of August we are caught between squeezing in summer vacations and preparing for the inevitable back to school dash.With younger children the preparation meant school clothes or uniforms,closed toed shoes, school supplies and class rosters. Those parents with college aged kids have closets stuffed with dorm and apartment essentials. Bigger kids...bigger stuff.
And yet it is still only early August- still time to enjoy summer movies, the beach or lake and the Olympics. In the coming weeks the Empty Nesters plan to include all of these topics, perhaps a movie review, a conversation with a college dean, Olympic updates ( Go Team USA- especially 40+ year old mom & swimmer Dara Torres).
Hope you join the conversation on Wednesdays at 11:00 a.m. PDT.

A Few of Our Favorite Things

2008-07-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

The Empty Nesters had an enjoyable visit with Dave Romanelli, Yahoo's Mind-Body Expert. Dave's upcoming book Living the Moment defines his unique approach to ancient yoga practice. He emphasizes understanding the moment where mind, spirit, the body and the senses converge to reveal strength and beauty. His Yoga + Wine or Yoga + Chocolate retreats offer added pleasures. Dave's website is www.yeahdaveyoga.com. The chat room was lively during the broadcast.

The show will not be broadcast on July 23rd as Jill is enjoying an island paradise and Claudia is tending to those necessary medical exams prescribed to those who have hit the mid-century mark.

The July 30th show will feature an interview with Lily Koppel, author of The Red Leather Diary. The discarded diary was recovered in a dumpster by Lily, a young writer at the New York Times. Compelled by the hopes and heartaches in the journal, she searched for and found the diary's owner. Read the story of this progressive young woman living in 1930's New York City and join the Claudia and Jill in the conversation.

As always, your comments are greatly appreciated.

2008-07-10T11:39:00.000-07:00

Free Counter

July 9th Show: Hungry Girl

2008-07-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Today we spoke with Lisa Lillien, author of Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt Free Eating in the Real World. Lisa gave us tips for making lower calorie choices for some of our favorie foods. Her website, http://www.hungry-girl.com , is full of great information.

"Magical low-calorie Margarita" recipe: (115 calories)

6 oz. diet lemon-lime soda
1 1/2 oz. tequila
1 packet (2 5-calorie servings) sugar- free powdered lemonade drink mix (i.e.crystal light) or 1 packet if you like a less- sweet drink
2 Tbsp lime juice
5-8 ice cubes or 1 cup crushed ice
optional lime wedge for garnish
Stir all ingresients together, except for the ice.
For a frozen drink, place mixture in the blender with the ice and blend until smooth. Or pour mixture over ice.
Enjoy!

On the personal side we spoke about college orientation and the emotions
of the parents and the college bound teen.

Next week we will welcome Dave Romanelli, Yahoo's Mid & Body expert and founder of At One Yoga, an innovative combination of exercise, inspiring spirituality, and great music ranging from Frank Sinatra to Diddy.
He is currently working on book titled Livin' the Moment .

We welcome your comments here at the blog and your phone calls on the show. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

I Love L.A. : A Tribute to the Lakers

2008-06-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

It is fitting that my first blog is about the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan since the championship team of 1971-1972 with Wilt, West and company. I still have the scrapbook I made to commemorate the season. In fact, I have the Sports Sections from the Los Angeles Times each time the Lakers won the Finals. ( Guess I don't need to save today's paper) Back in the days before cable t.v. I used to go with my Dad to a public arena with closed circuit television to watch the playoff games. In Middle School (or Junior High as it was called back in the day) I did a book report on a Jerry West biography. So flash forward to present day where the players don't wear the short shorts, but do have the graphic tattoos. It's not the NBA of old, but it sure gives me as many thrills. A rocky start, a few key acquisitions, strong offensive team play, a few disappointing injuries and the exceptional talent of MVP Kobe Bryant coalesced into a spectacular season with the Lakers winning their division and ultimately the Western Conference. Yes, the blowout in Game 6 of the Finals was heartbreaking, but we had a truly gratifying season to keep us cheering "I love L.A." until the fall. So to Dr Buss, Phil Jackson and the team I say thank you for the memories.

Empty Nesters Radio

2008-06-01T21:18:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Empty Nesters Radio

2008-05-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Empty Nesters Radio. My friend Jill and I have created a weekly internet radio show, aptly called The Empty Nesters. As you can guess, we are at a phase in our lives where our children have left for college and our home lives have changed. We are exploring new interests and passions, and learning to define oursleves as mothers of young adults.
The show is a work in progress. We plan to address topics that speak to people of our age: health, diet, exercise, fashion, the arts and our changing parenting and relationship roles. We plan on having interesting guests to give us further insights. We welcome any and all suggestions for topics. Perhaps you can share your own expertise with us as a guest on the show.
We air live on Wednesday mornings at 11:00 a.m. (PDT) for 30 minutes. If you are listening to the live broadcast and have a comment to add, you can call in to the show at 347.324.5843 You can find us at either www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters or on Itunes Music Store-search for Empty Nesters. Our past shows are archived as well so you can listen at your convenience. Jill and I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you.

Sincerely,
Claudia

The Empty Nesters

Transitions Happen at Every Age!

Tale as Old as Time, Song as Old as Rhyme, Beauty and the Beast

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now

Hello Goodbye

The Reason for the Season

Friday Night Lights: Are You Ready for Some Football?

And We Got to Get Ourselves Back to the Garden

Hot August Nights

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

The Dog Days Are Over

California Dreaming

Those Lazy, Crazy, Hazy Days

That's Life

Life Is A Mystery

Park Your Nonsense

Only the Good Die Young

Snow is a Four Letter Word!

Mourning A Mother

Everyone Has A Story

All The Leaves Are Brown

The Elephant In the Room

SALT...With A Touch of Spice

A Midsummer Night's Ramblings

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Betwixt, Bothered, and Bewildered

Mother's Day...It's Complicated!

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

What Were They Thinking?

It Ain't Over Til the Fat Lady Sings!

The Moment of a Lifetime

Tsunami On My Mind

March Madness Cometh

Human Nature

Today is Your Birthday

Independence Day

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Back to the Future III

Back to the Future II

The empty nesters interview Lisa Johnson Mandell, author of the newly released book "Career Comeback: Repackage Yourself to Get the Job You Want" on Wednesday January 13th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.

Back to the Future

Turkey Time

The Bling Ring

The First Cut Is The Deepest

The Sound of Music

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Join the empty nesters Wednesday morning, Oct 21 @ 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters when they talk with Dr. Rob DeStefano, author of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Falling Leaves and the Empty Nest

No Lies, No Insults, No Threats

Insomnia and the Empty Nest

Let's Talk About Sex...and other women's health issues

Never Can Say Goodbye?

Empty Nesters Need Health Care Too

Expect the Unexpected

On the Road Again

Beware the Letters of March

Denial is Not Just A River in Egypt

Who Turned Out the Lights ?

Eating Healthy With Oscar

Remind Me

Of Books and Other Things

Let the Sun Shine In

New Year, New Music

Farewell 2008

Diets, Daphne, December and Dilemmas

Turkey Time

Empty Nest, really?

You Should Be Dancing..Yeah

Must See T.V.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

So Much to Say, So Little Time

A Few of Our Favorite Things

July 9th Show: Hungry Girl

I Love L.A. : A Tribute to the Lakers

Empty Nesters Radio

Welcome to Empty Nesters Radio

The empty nesters interview Lisa Johnson Mandell, author of the newly released book "Career Comeback: Repackage Yourself to Get the Job You Want" on Wednesday January 13^th at 11AM PT on www.blogtalkradio.com/emptynesters.